Idk how to embed audio to Lemmy but imagine it playing on the background lol

Lazlo bayne - I’m no superman

full version with credits

  • ByteJunk@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    This is such a bullshit moral for stories, and it’s so overused that it boggles my brain. It’s just an outright lie - accepting oneself will NOT magically solve all of one’s problems, that’s not how reality works.

    • TheRealKuni@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Recently I saw someone complaining that he’ll always be a virgin and will never get laid. In my advice I recommended making changes to improve himself, like being kind and generous, learning to be better socially, and taking up hobbies that involve being around people.

      He said I was telling him to “fake himself.”

      All of the “just be yourself” and “you’re perfect just the way you are” platitudes are meant to improve confidence, but unfortunately it means some people genuinely don’t think they need to fix things. That they are just, like, owed success from society or something.

      Obviously there are aspects that you don’t need to change, like you don’t have to pretend to like things you don’t, and you don’t have to try to change your orientation or identity, but if you’re an asshole you should try to not be an asshole. If you smell bad you should shower. If you suffer from social anxiety there are both medical and practical ways to address that.

      No one is perfect. We can all stand to improve things about ourselves and thus progress towards whatever goals we may have. And the more we lie about not needing to change, or indeed not being able to change, the more we let people wallow in self-pity. I don’t have data to back this up, but I suspect this sort of thinking leads in part to the wave of loneliness and incel-ness we see in our society today.

    • SkyeStarfall@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      5 months ago

      It will not solve all your problems, but it might solve some.

      Pretending to be someone you’re really not, unless there’s a very good reason for it, usually leads to more harm than good

    • Asafum@feddit.nl
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      5 months ago

      Yeah and if you’re someone like me you shouldn’t accept yourself.

      I’m actual human garbage.

    • Encrypt-Keeper@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      I think that there’s a comfy middle ground between giving into every horrible trait you have to the detriment of everyone around you, and molding yourself into a character just to please everyone around you.

      Learning how to “Be yourself” just means learning how to take your core personality and cultivate it into being your own person that also knows how to get along well with society at large.

      • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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        5 months ago

        This is definitely true. My litmus test is simply empathy. If I were them, would I want to have a stranger (me) do this thing I’m about to do? If the answer is no, then I don’t do it.

  • MudMan@fedia.io
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    5 months ago

    So… which education system would that be?

    I acknowledge that online the assumption is whenever you see memes like these it’s always about the US, but maybe having that assumption is me internalizing that weirdness?

      • eskimofry@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        One where profit motive doesn’t exist and the exams are only a minor fraction of the passing rubrics.

      • MudMan@fedia.io
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        5 months ago

        Are you American? Because “if it’s not perfect it’s just as bad as ours” is something I hear a lot from Americans and don’t think that’s how this works.

          • MudMan@fedia.io
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            5 months ago

            Seems to me like the size of the hole matters here. If I had to choose between a pinprick and a massive Hobbit door I know which one I’d prefer, even if they’re both circles. You know, to torture the metaphor a bit further.

      • MudMan@fedia.io
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        5 months ago

        Oh, ok. So no problem, then.

        I mean, if all of them are like that then it’s a fundamental, intrinsic problem of growing up and learning things and there’s nothing to be done. No point complaining.

        But I don’t think you mean that, to be perfectly honest.

        • sparkle@lemm.ee
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          5 months ago

          The way we do education is based on fundamentally flawed concepts, from the grading systems we use to the clear design towards specifically (neuro)typical (and usually more privileged) children. This is just true everywhere. Childhood psychology/developmental psychology and education are pretty complicated and poorly understood by most of the public, even educators.

          • MudMan@fedia.io
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            5 months ago

            This is just repeating what I originally said, but hear me out. Who is “we”?

            I mean, this very nice lady even says at around the 35 minute mark that “there are plenty of schools that don’t grade their students and have great college acceptance rates”, which makes me think she thinks her “we” may not be your “we”. She definitely doesn’t seem to think that “we” is “all of them”.

            So who is “we”?

            • sparkle@lemm.ee
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              5 months ago

              “We” is most of the schools in a majority of education systems in the world. At least, a majority of kids in most education systems are subject to this kind of education. Especially in the western world and East Asia where education is widespread and well-established, and where typical grading is seen as god.

              • MudMan@fedia.io
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                5 months ago

                Yeeeah, I’m not gonna cut through the ethnocentrism here, am I? Because that sure sounds like it means “the US and all the places I kind of assume work just like the US but don’t actually know in any detail”. Which is the exact type of discourse I was calling out at the top of this thing. If I’m honest, the implicit assumption you’re making that the countries that don’t work just like what you know don’t do so because education there isn’t “widespread and well-established” is kind of icky, depending on how much benefit of the doubt one gives to your “western world” blanket.

                To be clear, I don’t have a particularly conservative take on this issue and I certainly have objections to the current state of the education system(s) I know. But they’re not the same ones you mean, not for the same reasons and certainly the concepts, issues and solutions the nice lady in the video is calling out would not really apply.

                • sparkle@lemm.ee
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                  5 months ago

                  Sorry but do you know nothing of schooling in Japan, South Korea, or China? Or Germany or anywhere else in Europe? Would you be so kind as to point out a country where the part about education primarily rewarding being neurotypical, encouraging perfectionism/performance/competition over learning/personal success (and usually rewarding being privileged but not always) doesn’t apply? Where would you say has an “equal” or “fair” education system? The education systems don’t have to work the same way to have very similar and related fundamental flaws.

        • feedmecontent@lemmy.world
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          5 months ago

          Not true. The state of the art of education is in a certain place where education systems that are doing the best anyone is doing are still doing so with ableist discrimination forward. Those looking to the “most successful” education systems will be imitating these practices as well. The current best is far from the best it could be though, and things could be changed radically to remove that ableist discrimination.

          • MudMan@fedia.io
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            5 months ago

            Oh, that one is unexpected. You’ve managed to blend both “if it’s not perfect it’s just as bad as ours” and “nobody has ever done it right” in a single argument.

            That’s kind of impressive, actually.

            Again, who are we talking about and what problems are we identifying? Because I find it hard to believe that in a whole-ass planet where hundreds of countries and private institutions have their own distinct take on how to do this (never mind all the ones that came before the current ones) this is simultaneously simply impossible to get right but also so easy that it can be condensed in a one panel comic strip-slash-one paragraph social media post.

            • feedmecontent@lemmy.world
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              5 months ago

              I definitely never said that there aren’t education systems that are better than other education systems because none are perfect, or implied that at all.

              And the mistake you’ve made here is assuming that conceptually, something not being done correctly anywhere currently means it’s impossible. That idea basically negates the idea of human progress. There are lots of things currently being done that, in the past, were tried and failed simultaneously by many institutions across the planet before it was solved and the solution proliferated.

              Education that is applied equitably to people who have different needs is a problem that, if solved in the theoretical realm (still doubt), definitely hasn’t been solved at the implementation step widely anywhere. I don’t think you could name a single country where education outcomes are equitable for ND people with respect to their NT counterparts with similar base capabilities. But it’s definitely possible.

              • MudMan@fedia.io
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                5 months ago

                No, I’m not saying things can’t be improved, I’m saying that the blanket statements being thrown around are reductive and ethnocentric.

                The idea that your state of the issue is the high bar for it is reductive and ethnocentric. The idea that your activism or proposal is the cutting edge and will set the solution set to proliferate is reductive and ethnocentric. This is a common pattern in western, and especially US activism, and it can get really annoying.

                It’s fine to want to make things better, but some care to acknowledge that not everybody is in the same place structurally and not every solution may be universal seems prudent and when that framing isn’t top of mind for people I tend to notice.

                • feedmecontent@lemmy.world
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                  5 months ago

                  Can you name an education system globally that has solved the problems of diverse needs in education, and especially the type of neurodiverse needs that these types of memes generally reference? Because I do agree that activism that ignores diverse needs across a cultural and national axis is a problem, but it’s only a problem that applies here if there’s a place on Earth where this doesn’t apply.

                  I used to have a sort of wishful thinking-esque belief that there were better places for the education of neurodivergent children. When I was much younger I thought it must be one of the other local districts near me. Then I thought maybe another US state or western country. Then I finally tried to think globally. But I’ve yet to hear a description, in all of that desperate searching, of a widespread approach to education that actually addresses these problems or even considers them problems. I’m open to being wrong though. Can you show me one? Can you point at even one? Because if my cultural bias has blanked one out I really want to know which.

  • Match!!@pawb.social
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    5 months ago

    There are several hole shapes but not infinite and no guarantee that an individual person will be suited to a hole at all.

  • joneskind@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Why are you am? Did you try not to be am? I was am myself but myself being am wasn’t fitting well. Well fuck it there’s nothing wrong with being am and well. I am am too and proud of it

    • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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      5 months ago

      I’ve been on the internet since the before before times, I do not recognize this one. I must have been distracted at the time it happened.

      Still made sense to me though… So IDK. Maybe the internet has warped my mind. I’ve seen a lot.

      • joneskind@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        I kind of regret you remove your happy mistake my friend, but I respect your decision.

        As you see I’m bad at everything else as well

        Don’t say that. You’re perfect just the way you are.

        • Asafum@feddit.nl
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          5 months ago

          Don’t say that. You’re perfect just the way you are

          Don’t say that. I can’t speak for them, but I know I’m not. :P

  • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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    5 months ago

    I think most education systems actually work the other way around, the hole’s there, but the teachers will hammer students into the “right” shape