Work hard, show up and you will get a pay raise, you will get promoted.
Yeah no didn’t work that way.
You want a pay raise, find a new job.
It’s all anecdotes but I’ve found that jumping has raised me incrementally, but I’ve never had a job I’ve truly mastered, nor have I had a job where they rewarded longevity.
So those two variables mean it’s continuously adapting and learning but not mastering anything yet (in order to grow and survive)
And your replacement probably got paid more than you so that could have just given you the raise and avoided the loss of institutional knowledge, but nah.
That’s likely more accurate than not. The road to better pay increases across the board is sadly often paved with bitter workers who left for greener pastures.
But that leverage is more worker-centric at higher compensation levels. If you have hard-to-find talent you gain leverage in your ability to advocate for what you want/need.
Yep, never gotten a raise that was more than a COL adjustment (and in most cases that was only because the employer was legally obliged to).
I’ve been promoted to take on more responsibility, but pay was never reflective of that. The new job title is basically what allows you to get the higher pay at the next job.
The trick is finding jobs that synergize to an broader overall industry. If you’re moving every 3yrs or so that’s plenty of time to learn many of the specifics of the job and markets you’re in. You treat each job as a training assignment for becoming an expert in the field.
For example
If you start out marketing for a pharmeceutical company You’re next move could be marketing for a bio-pharma company After that you move to marketing for phjarmaceutical ingredients After that you move to marketing for a drug delivery devices Then you can go to medical devices materials
NOW YOU ARE A MARKETING EXPERT IN HEALTHCARE
I count myself lucky to have received raises at my job (dispatching for a towing company)
I started at 13.25/hr in May 2018, and my most recent raise in May 2023 for my 5 year review I’m up to $20.00/hr
But I had to ASK every time. It will never be handed to you freely. You should always be looking for another job, and jump ship if you don’t get a raise you honestly believed you earned.
It can be monumentally difficult for one to know one’s own worth. I recommend checking the United States government’s bureau of labor statistics Occupational Outlook Handbook and try to find your job position in there to get a baseline.
It’s good to know what the stats are, both nationally and in your locality if the info is available, so you can reference it both in performance reviews and when job searching.
I’ve been consistently getting raises since I joined the IT company I work for in 2017. I have a friend who just got hired with them for the THIRD time after jumping to other jobs to get salary bumps.
He was making more than me when he started. He makes less than me now.
Showing up and doing your job just isn’t enough. You have to have presence. You have to make yourself known. Know what you’re worth. And most importantly, you have to advocate for yourself.
I feel like telling your boss what you did/ worked on makes you present. Just showing up, doing work and leaving doesn’t help
“They are your ___. You should forgive and make up because they are your ___.”
Took a bit of maturing, but I’ve learned you don’t have to forgive people and certainly you don’t have to let them back in your life, even if they are family. Some people just aren’t cut out for their role in your life. Biological or otherwise.
“We don’t turn our back on family!”
I like the double meaning of that one.
Yep, completely agree.
“Ignore the bullies and they’ll leave you alone.”
This really depends on the bully.
Some want attention - they want your reaction, often your overreaction so they can make themselves look like a victim. In these cases, ignoring them for a while will probably make them move on to the next target.
Some want power - they want you to look weak so they can look strong. They like the feeling that you can’t do anything to them. Ignoring these will make them continue. Here you have to fight back.
And yes, usually you don’t know what your bully wants.
I find that the ones that want attention don’t particularly enjoy being punched in the face either.
Yea, it’s really a 50/50
Came here to say this.
Throwing a punch worked way way better.
My punches weren’t great, so I started throwing chairs.
Yep, bad advice. Kick them in the nuts, break their nose and yeah, they’ll leave you alone.
Which, sadly, these days is a one-way ticket to you being in the alternative school. With your bully. If the bully, who is probably a football or basketball player, even makes it to the principal’s office instead of being given the royal treatment for having a student oh so randomly attack him!
The zero tolerance rules some schools have is absolutely terrible.
Yeah, we used to fight all the time as kids, like really kick each other’s asses, bruses, blood. No one ever called anyone, the teachers just started dragging us by the ears to the bathroom to clean us up, that was it. Mom or dad asks what happened, I got into a fight, that was it.
Maybe things weren’t taken as seriously cuz I don’t live in the US. Things were a lot different back then. Now, they’re more or less like in the US, everyone just wants to take legal action… which IMO just adds further trauma to the situation. It doesn’t actually solve anything. They’re kids, they fight, they make up, that’s the cycle.
Maybe it’s also because we never had guns in schools. Even now, there hasn’t been a single incident regarding fire arms in schools.
Still, he won’t fuck with you any more. Hurt him and he’ll leave you alone. That’s s basic principle with all animals in nature. If you put up a fight, you’re left alone.
This worked for me in high school. I guess I wasn’t fun to torment, because I didn’t react at all. Someone would come up with nickname and try to make fun of me with it, and I just answered as if it was my name. They’d lose interest after a week or so. If thrown into the lockers, I’d just roll out of it and keep walking as if nothing happened, and it wouldn’t happen again.
The person who bullied me the most in grade school I actually found out was just really bad at trying to make friends. One thing I still remember was him pulling my chair out from under me so my spine grinded against the chair and I landed on my tailbone. It hurt like a mother fucker. But we ended up going on a field trip and somehow I ended up in the car with him and his mom, just the 3 of us. He asked if I wanted to play legos and told me I was was his best friend. It was surreal. I realized he didn’t know how to be a normal sociable kid and his bullying was just a shitty attempt to engage with someone he thought was his friend, or who he wanted to be his friend. Of course that didn’t make my back and ass hurt any less.
My experience was, stuff the bully in his locker and he’ll never bother you or your friends again.
To be fair, he was starting football linesman and, uh, was trying to stuff a friend in his locker… with his coach’s apparent permission…
This advice actually worked for me though
When I took my aggressive rescue dog to special training. “Does he know who pays the bills? Make sure he watches you pay bills then that’s how he knows that you are the alpha.”
I wish I could make this shit up. Needless to say, the dog didn’t care, the training sucked and nothing helped from that class. $500 down the drain.
That is entirely bunk. Sorry you had to go through that my friend.
Thanks. That “trainer” was an idiot.
That’s hilarious, but even if they’d used an example with something that the dog could actually understand, it’s still bunk, because all of that “alpha” stuff is based on junk science. Those people trying to “establish dominance” are just bullying their dogs for no good reason.
deleted by creator
“You need to know how to do this, you won’t always have a calculator on you.”
I wonder if they still say that.
Only bad teachers have ever said that. But I doubt they do now that everyone has a calculator on their phone.
I’ve heard the “won’t always have a calculator” line, but more impressive was the one time our math teacher demonstrated the ability to solve the problem on the blackboard faster than we could whip out our calculators and punch in the numbers.
She showed her work, too.
From family members now in elementary/middle school, yeah they still do. Or they use brain training as an excuse.
deleted by creator
I think the problem is it’s taught in a really bad way.
I remember having to do all sorts of trigonometry stuff, but I don’t think anybody ever explained why this would be useful.
Be youself and everything will be fine.
“Just be yourself!”, if I hate myself, why would being myself make anyone else like me
Not that I hate myself, I’m just weird (like positive vibes weird, but still weird), so shit doesn’t always play out like I want it to… like the interviewer may have a nice rack, and her nipples may be showing cuz the AC in the room is set to “dante’s hell” temp, so… I just stare at them. I don’t want to, but I can’t bring myself not to do it… and then the questions go by and I space out and then I’m excised from the interview.
This totally never happend, just a theoretical example 👀.
Thank you for making me feel less autistic than I am.
I may be on the spectrum, who knows… that’s not a field that is that well developed where I live, so practically, short of dumping a lot of money and flying over to a western country to get myself checked, there’s very little anyone can tell me here. Hell, ADHD is news here, lol, people still don’t know how to diagnose it, so they go abroad 🤷.
…
Did you actually try though? Most people who think this is bad advice, are too afraid of what people will think to actually be themselves, and instead present how they want to be perceived. Which doesn’t work.
The advice “just be yourself” also doesn’t always guarantee success, but it does mean you’ll wind up surrounded (everyone’s definition will vary here, could be 1-2 people) by people you like, rather than those you just pretend to.
It depends on the environment. In school and professional environments it’s usually not good advice. Once you’re old enough to go into the world and find your people, then it’s good advice.
I am surrounded by people who like me, I am myself in front of them, they know how fucked up I can be. The problem is everyone else in my life that I have to put on a face to get by the day. Work is a perfect example. Like I really wanna murder (or at least hit really hard) that brainless little readhead from HR that still doesn’t understand how to open up a folder (explained 20 times over), so bugs me to do it, cuz it’s too much of an embarresment to tell her colleagues to do it… that sort of thing.
And you can’t yell at her, cuz she’s in HR 😒.
This advice isn’t meant for work settings, so it’s no surprise it doesn’t work there.
Except when you ask for advice for an interview and people tell you to just be yourself like that will actually help you get a job
Exactly… it won’t, chances are you’ll never ever get any job if you be yourself.
They should have pointed that out when they gave the advice.
“Be yourself” is pretty good advice, be the best version of yourself so you don’t have to act all the time.
“and everything will be fine”, well that’s wishful thinking they can’t guarantee it but maybe they see something in you that makes them think you will succeed.
Maybe, who knows…
My mom gave me this advice. None of the advices she has ever given me have ever panned out right.
deleted by creator
I’m not a crappy person, I’m just weird (pointed out by other fellow humans many times). Example, sometimes I make people uncomfortable by asking questions that they might not wanna give the answer to. The problem is, I actually don’t see anything wrong with that, but I have made an effort over the years not to do that. Still, that’s not me, that’s a mask I put on so I can be more socially acceptable.
deleted by creator
I’ve been in the wrong place my entire life. I was born in the wrong place. I don’t feel like I’ve ever belonged here. And then I see people in other more stable countries and see how they function on a day to day basis and I realize more and more that I’m just not cut out to live where I currently live. Here, you gotta have strings in every single government agency, ministry, whatever, in order to survive… cuz everyone tries to fuck you over a million different ways, so you gotta watch your back all the time. I’m just not designed like that. It’s like someone did a lobotomy on my brain when I was born an threw that EQ part of it in some dumpster. I’m socially friendly and I love hanging out with people, but when it comes to seing red flags or signs that something bad might happen, I’m just… a complete dummy. Years of hanging out with all sorts of people have corrected this side of me, up to a point, but it’s still not good enough. I really feel like I was just born without that gift, unfortunatelly, a gift that so many people rely on (at least around here, street smart is the way to go here, otherwise you’re fucked). And I’m just tired… just tired of endlessly lagging behind everyone esle around here. I’m not stupid, I know I’m not, but being smart has nothing to do with being street smart… unfortunatelly.
That being said, I beat myself over for years why sometimes so simple social concepts or warnings escape me, but are so blaintly obvious to everyone else. But, I stopped doing that. I just set different goals for myself. I am obviously born in the wrong place and my brain is just not wired to think like people do around here. I have tried, I really have, but I feel like I’m always miles away behind everyone else. I currently can’t leave this place, my wife doesn’t want to leave, and we have a son, so it’s not an option right now. But as soon as the kid is a bit grown, I am definitely out of here.
And the fucking heat… can’t fucking stand the heat 😭… every fucking summer, every god damn summer, it’s the same story, over and over, 45C on a good day 😭. We didn’t even have snow this winter, it barely went below 10C.
deleted by creator
When I was about to graduate highschool I was told to “Make sure I pick a university with a football team I was comfortable supporting the rest of my life”.
I mean, you don’t want your Alma Mater to have a team called “the Hitlers” or something like that.
deleted by creator
The schools with the top football teams tend to be pretty good schools.
“Family wants the best for you, listen to us.”
Reported like this, it sounds more like gaslighting than advice.
“You’ll save so much time making an illegal u-turn here. Don’t be a pussy, there’s no cops! Nobody else is out, it’s totally safe!” There was one other person out. It was a cop.
Ha, this happened to me. I’m a super safe driver, but my wife convinced me that there was only one car at the intersection and it was deserted at night, and so I should do a u-turn because she saw a stray cat on the side of the road. The other car was a cop of course. Got pulled over, they were super nervous, because they didn’t see a cat, so didn’t believe why I had done a uturn in front of them. Once they ran my ID they let me off since I had 30+ years driving with clean record. But I won’t be doing a random uturn again.
Lol 🤣🤣🤣. This is actually funny.
Get married when you’re young, so you have time to get divorced and married again.
Incredible. What’s the context for when this was offered as advice?
Just random.
Dating advice from older men in general. The shit they got away with was wild
The amount of “I just kept asking her and she finally relented!” With the wife giving a forced smile standing beside him is too damn high
For real! I work in the medical field and the amount of times I’ve heard some geriatric casually say he harassed a woman into marrying him is too damn high
Suddenly those boomer memes about the wife and husband hating each other make a lot more sense.
You know what else is too damn high? Rent
I’d vote for that guy’s mustache
“Join the army, you’ll give your new wife and unborn son a future.”
Just wait, the right person will come along.
Turns out that doesn’t work for guys.
Yep. Grew up in a house full of women, so I heard this a lot. Also, “the right person comes when you’re not looking,” so I never looked. Terrible advice.
Yeah I’m finding that piece of advice is worthless. I say, just look over your shoulder once in a while, but never not go looking at all. Some of the best people I’ve dated was because I just simply glanced over, but I can’t say any of them we’re ‘the right ones’ because they happened to be because I wasn’t looking.
Yeah, we have to put in extra effort.
“You can always count on family.”
Did Dom tell you that?
“Get pregnant. It will fix your endometriosis.” My boss, who was tired of me calling out due to pain.
Advice I did not take because that’s not how that works.
I read my favorite response to that “advice” a few years ago on Reddit.
Act like it’s good advice that you’ve never heard before … then ask how long you have to stay pregnant to “fix your endometriosis” before getting an abortion. “Is this a first trimester or a late term deal?”
