There better be chilli fries under that cheese
The American Cheese with Pizza
that tweet reply is just 👄🤌
This is not pizza.
Not even pineapple could save that.
Hello? I would like to report a crime against humanity.
I’m the one to do gross shit like dip a dill pickle in mayonnaise at 3am, and even this looks objectively horrifying to me
And they say white people have no culture.
Grand sweeping gesture
No-one ever talks about white on white violence
Y’all better be careful or you’re going to fall down a rabithold of locally celebrated yet disgusting pizza in PA. It’s like a whole thing there.
I knew PA was evil, but I never knew just how horrible.
I am biased being from NJ, but these pizzas vindicate me!
I propose the removal of Pennsylvania, except Philadelphia theyre chill.
Weren’t they a murder capital for a bit?
Yes, why do you think I like them?
They fucked up that hiking robot or doll or whatever it was pretty quick, after having gone through like Canada and the Northeast.
its cuz PA west of the Appalachins is basically the midwest. it’s like having next door neighbors from Iowa
We call it “Pennsyltuckey”
Are those fucken Kraft singles? That’s deplorable and I am disgusted beyond the spiritual realm.
I mean, sandwich bread, tomato sauce, ham and cheese on top, it’s not a pizza, it’s a microwaved 3am sandwich
Not cheese. Kraft fucking singles
Kraft singles are still cheese. They’ve just been pasteurized and adulterated with sodium citrate.
That actually makes them super useful in making a cheese sauce.
Add a few slices to a queso and it will not break.
You fat. Smooth cheesey sauce that comes out perfect every time.
You can make sodium citrate with lemon juice and baking soda. Lime juice also works. Really any citric acid.
Anyway, you don’t need much to make cheese melt smoothly.
You fat
Rude
💀 I also read it that way
Kraft singles are still cheese. They’ve just been pasteurized and adulterated with sodium citrate.
No, if it was just cheese that’s been pasteurized and adulterated with sodium citrate it would be pasteurized process cheese. A couple other additional additives are acceptable.
When it has other additives but is at least half cheese by weight it’s pasteurized process cheese food.
When it’s pasteurized process cheese product it’s not meeting any of those standards. Often because it’s less than half cheese or an addictive outside the accepted list to meet the other definitions is being used. Milk protein concentrate is an example, but also increasing the fat content with something like vegetable oil or adding flavoring agents to make the result taste more like cheese.
The FDA caught Kraft singles not meeting the definition of pasteurized process cheese food something like 20 years ago which is why it’s labeled a pasteurized process cheese product.
For any curious, the sodium citrate is an emulsifying agents that helps the natural cheeses used melt together smoothly, and pasteurization was originally done to prolong the life of the resultant mixed cheese as the whole original point of American cheese was to reprocess ends and scraps into something homogeneous and comparatively safe for long distance overland transport before refrigerated trucks were a thing.
We literally bought a can of sodium citrate to adulterate cheese at home.
Our nacho cheese is fucking amazing, and the cheese-milk ratio is absurd compared to what we used to be able to get. We can do 40% milk 60% cheddar and it still works. We stir in garlic, chili, cumin, salt and pepper, too.
When night munchies comes… You don’t care about quality of ingredients, anyway it’s just a slapstick sandwich and not a pizza, only “crime” they do is calling it pizza and pricing it as such, if it was marketed as cheap slapstick sandwiches on the go, i don’t think anyone would have problems with that
There’s also the issue of Kraft being a shite company.
Yup. This is a stoner snack.
This is a fucking culinary crime.
Lol I can’t believe this is real. How terrible must food be in your city for this to be successful? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altoona-style_pizza
Fixed that for Wikipedia:
Fun fact, you can trigger Wikipedia editors by changing the page in developer console and posting a screenshot of it, they’ll scramble to revert a change that doesn’t exist.
Or just edit as usual, then click on preview and screenshot that. Also works on mobile!
While originally topped with Velveeta, Altoona-style pizza is popularly topped with yellow processed cheese known as American cheese. The yellow squares of American cheese are a staple of this dish, used instead of the mozzarella or provolone common to other styles of pizza.
Everything about that paragraph makes me feel ill.
I do find it comical that Americans call processed cheese “American”
It’s telling for sure.
Lol, I do eat this type of cheese with grilled cheese… But this application is disgusting.
This made me discover Velveeta. I wish I hadn’t.
Do not make the fudge recipe. Trust me.
I am sorry? There’s a Velveeta fudge recipe!
Just the thought it is alone 🤮
Following the destruction of the hotel in 2013 by fire, other local restaurants began serving Altoona-style pizza
It could have died there, but they had to do this
Mozzarella is nice though, just that it’s mentioned makes me feel a bit better. As if the world isn’t broken completely.
That passage explains the what , but nothing can explain the why.
The most successful businesses in Altoona when I lived there in the early 2010s were drug rehabilitation centers. All the factories closed, and the town is slowly dying.
American cheese on pizza? that’s the kind of thing I would do if I’m down to the last two items in the kitchen, and feel too lazy to go shopping, but still would hate it
That’s the type of thing you make if you have nothing else in the fridge and you can’t go out to get anything else. And you’d keep that shit quiet and never admit to it to anyone.
Like Kenji’s smash burgers, “held together with hope and American Cheese”
cook with it? yeah
call it pizza? nope
Honestly this doesn’t sound like it would taste all that bad. Thick crust, tomato sauce, green bell pepper, fried salami, and Velveeta cheese? That’s gonna be pretty tasty. Calling it pizza might be the biggest issue, maybe something like open faced pepper sandwich would be better.
Calling Velveeta “cheese” is pretty bad
Urgh, here in Canada they tried to trick us with “delux” kraft dinner. Velveeta is so bad that I avoid name brand KD to this day due to one time over a decade ago. How in the artificial fuck do americans eat that stuff?
Maybe ive got California bias, but pretty sure we also avoid it. That shit is basically waste that is sold to folks who literally cant afford better.
I bet you also think health insurance CEOs are hard working, upstanding members of the community.
Stop
I mean, you just described a thick crust hot pocket. Which isn’t bad. It ain’t good, but it ain’t bad.
Pretty much, any combination of bread, cheese, and tomato sauce is edible. The salami is just there for texture
