Click the start button. The start button. It’s on the bottom left. Yes, click it. You already clicked it? Don’t click it again! You clicked it again? Okay, click it again. Now on the fly out click control panel. Wait, you clicked the start button again? Okay click it again. You know what? Fuck this shit, I quit.
I remember one call where the customer didn’t know where the Start button was. I told them that it was the button on the lower left-hand corner of the screen. She said that she clicked it and everything went black. Turns out she hit the power button on her monitor.
Me: Please close all windows you have currently opened.
Costumer: Ok, one moment. leaves phone, comes back 2 minutes later.
Me: It will take quite long if you are not sitting in front of your computer, can you relocate there?
Costumer: I am in front of the computer, i just closed all windows just like you told me.
Me: dies internally
I had another client with ADSL, asked them what modem they used:
Client: “My modem is colorful and full of lights!”
seriously, tech support is funny shit if it doesn’t happen to you.
I used to work in tech support for a pharmacy chain.
One day I ask the pharmacist to unplug for 10 seconds. He tells me he doesn’t know how to count to 10, just 30. Sometimes he has to count to 60, or 90, or even 180…but he doesn’t. He just counts to 30 until it looks good.
Oh, you already rebooted? Okay, well maybe your power cable is loose. Go ahead and shut down for me real quick, so you can unplug that power cable and plug it back in. Great, now that you’ve power cycled your computer, the problem is fixed? Glad I could help.
I’m the last stop for my help desk and I legit feel like Dr House some days.
Yeah. Users lie. They also misremember or straight up don’t notice.
To be fair tho, some of L1 can’t write for shit, and some of L1 likes going well beyond the scope of the KB and breaks more stuff in the process. Those guys usually make good L2 since they are proactive and accept feedback, they just lack discretion.
I used to work in a 3rd line tech support. Whenever we got escalations from tier 2 I’d read their notes and then start from the beginning. More often than not they would say they have checked something and not found the fault when indeed that was the fault.
Dude, ages ago when I did tech support. A simple question like: “are the lights on your modem on?” was met with a yes. Then after an hour of troubleshooting you find out, in fact, no they weren’t on the entire time and the modem was unplugged. Like, you lied, you never even checked. The real questions then become: why was the modem unplugged? Who unplugged it? What reason does one have for unplugging their modem?
I just want to say, as someone who is quite tech literate, these kinds of questions are incredibly annoying to get through. I called my ISP, and they tried walking me through restarting my router when I could ping their gateway already, but not the outside world (e.g. 1.1.1.1).
But then again, I’ve worked tech support and have been on the other end with tech illiterate people, so I get it.
Yeah. You would have had to triangulate your way around to getting the information that is exactly the information that you knew already that it was.
“Sir, I need you to go to the oil that you used and check if it is non-hydrogenated or hydrogenated. It should be printed on the back of the label.”
“What do you mean, I never had this problem before”
“Yes, I’m aware, they have changed the oil constitution recently. I’ll be able to resolve this problem for you, I just need to know if the oil is hydrogenated or not.”
“I don’t see what that has to do with anything”
“Can you just check the back of the bottle, please? Then I’m sure we’ll be able to get your recipe working again”
“Okay, well I didn’t actually use oil, I used toothpaste because it was expired and I wanted to get rid of it”
“Aha! Okay, I understand sir. I’m glad we were able to get to the bottom of the issue you’re having. So, if you make the recipe with toothpaste, it definitely won’t taste the same or have a good consistency. I think if you switch back to using oil you’ll find that the pancakes still taste the same as they used to”
“But I think I should be able to use toothpaste.”
“Absolutely. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”
Working in tech support be like
Click the start button. The start button. It’s on the bottom left. Yes, click it. You already clicked it? Don’t click it again! You clicked it again? Okay, click it again. Now on the fly out click control panel. Wait, you clicked the start button again? Okay click it again. You know what? Fuck this shit, I quit.
I remember one call where the customer didn’t know where the Start button was. I told them that it was the button on the lower left-hand corner of the screen. She said that she clicked it and everything went black. Turns out she hit the power button on her monitor.
I legit had the following interaction.
Me: Please close all windows you have currently opened. Costumer: Ok, one moment. leaves phone, comes back 2 minutes later. Me: It will take quite long if you are not sitting in front of your computer, can you relocate there? Costumer: I am in front of the computer, i just closed all windows just like you told me. Me: dies internally
I had another client with ADSL, asked them what modem they used: Client: “My modem is colorful and full of lights!”
seriously, tech support is funny shit if it doesn’t happen to you.
I used to work in tech support for a pharmacy chain.
One day I ask the pharmacist to unplug for 10 seconds. He tells me he doesn’t know how to count to 10, just 30. Sometimes he has to count to 60, or 90, or even 180…but he doesn’t. He just counts to 30 until it looks good.
Except they don’t tell you that they did something different and you have to spend half an hour just figuring that out.
Yeah, Rule 0 of tech support is “users lie.”
Oh, you already rebooted? Okay, well maybe your power cable is loose. Go ahead and shut down for me real quick, so you can unplug that power cable and plug it back in. Great, now that you’ve power cycled your computer, the problem is fixed? Glad I could help.
I’m the last stop for my help desk and I legit feel like Dr House some days.
Yeah. Users lie. They also misremember or straight up don’t notice.
To be fair tho, some of L1 can’t write for shit, and some of L1 likes going well beyond the scope of the KB and breaks more stuff in the process. Those guys usually make good L2 since they are proactive and accept feedback, they just lack discretion.
I used to work in a 3rd line tech support. Whenever we got escalations from tier 2 I’d read their notes and then start from the beginning. More often than not they would say they have checked something and not found the fault when indeed that was the fault.
Dude, ages ago when I did tech support. A simple question like: “are the lights on your modem on?” was met with a yes. Then after an hour of troubleshooting you find out, in fact, no they weren’t on the entire time and the modem was unplugged. Like, you lied, you never even checked. The real questions then become: why was the modem unplugged? Who unplugged it? What reason does one have for unplugging their modem?
@USSEthernet @Murdoc why we used to ask them if one was blinking fast or slow, it made them actually look at the modem
I just want to say, as someone who is quite tech literate, these kinds of questions are incredibly annoying to get through. I called my ISP, and they tried walking me through restarting my router when I could ping their gateway already, but not the outside world (e.g. 1.1.1.1).
But then again, I’ve worked tech support and have been on the other end with tech illiterate people, so I get it.
I just wish “shibboleet” was a real thing.
Unfortunately if shibboleet were a thing tech illiterate users would quickly learn it and use it every time.
Maybe a rotating key, like with TOTP?
Yeah. You would have had to triangulate your way around to getting the information that is exactly the information that you knew already that it was.
“Sir, I need you to go to the oil that you used and check if it is non-hydrogenated or hydrogenated. It should be printed on the back of the label.”
“What do you mean, I never had this problem before”
“Yes, I’m aware, they have changed the oil constitution recently. I’ll be able to resolve this problem for you, I just need to know if the oil is hydrogenated or not.”
“I don’t see what that has to do with anything”
“Can you just check the back of the bottle, please? Then I’m sure we’ll be able to get your recipe working again”
“Okay, well I didn’t actually use oil, I used toothpaste because it was expired and I wanted to get rid of it”
“Aha! Okay, I understand sir. I’m glad we were able to get to the bottom of the issue you’re having. So, if you make the recipe with toothpaste, it definitely won’t taste the same or have a good consistency. I think if you switch back to using oil you’ll find that the pancakes still taste the same as they used to”
“But I think I should be able to use toothpaste.”
“Absolutely. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”
Fuck this is painfully on point. Both as someone whose worked in customer service and IT.
Flashbacks to trying to get the user to admit they unplugged the monitor