Hey folks! I hope you all are safe and doing well.
First things first, I realize HSP (highly sensitive personality) is not in the neurodivergence spectrum, but I don’t think there is a more suitable community for this. After a bit over a year of therapy, I have finally been identified as a person with hyper sensitive personality. In a sense, I’m relieved that I finally have a “label” for it and am now able to pick the correct tools from my toolbox to deal with some of my emotional issues.
In any case, I am writing here for those of you who identify yourselves or have otherwise been diagnosed as a HSP - what are your self-care routines/tools? For me it has always been essential to spend a few hours in the dark with no stimuli, listen to music that is usually a bit more complex technically, read poetry, experience art or other awe-inspiring scenes.
I would also like to know what your hobbies are. Do they take advantage of this trait of your personality?
I identified as HSP for many years prior to my ASD/ADHD diagnosis, but for my entire adult life I've done the same: first, I've made my bedroom a haven, with a weighted blanket, blackout curtains, fairy lights, etc. and I feel free to retreat to my room when the world is too much. My room is my space, designed for my comfort. (I have a house, but naturally it's family space and when I'm overwhelmed I really need to be alone).
I don't force myself to stay on overstimulating situations because I "should"- if there's a pressing reason I have to stay a bit longer but I just can't, a five minute breather outside can make a huge difference.
I already mentioned the weighted blanket, but if you don't already have one, you should get one- and make sure you get one that's around 10% of your body weight for best effect. I bought mine at the start of the Pandemic and I swear it saved my life, it allowed me to feel safe when absolutely nothing felt safe. Another tool in my box that I would never trade is good noise-cancelling headphones. I'm so glad it's acceptable to wear them in public nowadays, they have been a lifesaver.
Thank you for your comment! I’ve been on the fence about buying a weighted blanket for a while, but I’ll most definitely get one now! I’ve gotten used to ignoring my body cues and just staying in a situation even though it feels extremely uncomfortable. This is definitely something I need to work on. I also need to move to another house, I think. I currently don’t feel safe or comfortable where I live and it’s taking a bigger toll on my mental health than I was willing to admit.
Yes, it’s so important to listen to your body. A HSP should not just ignore what they’re feeling or fight to endure discomfort, especially long-term discomfort like unsafe housing…if you are able to move, I hope you will, because constant negative overstimulation can lead to burnout, which can have a really severe mental health toll over a lifetime. I was rendered pretty much non-functional for much of my 40s because of it. Now I know I have to put self-care first or i will pay for it.
Meditation is a must, I'd say. To cope with the constant sensory stimulation one needs to stay connected to one's internal signs and impulses. It also helps to learn to observe things without further analysis or reaction. I'd recommend looking into stoicism. I paint, write music and do all sorts of creative things, which clearly go hand in hand with an elevated sense of sensitivity. I definitely see it as a gift rather than a disability at this point in my life.
Ditto, I had a therapist recommend practiceing mindfulness with apps like medito or mindfulness coach.
Thanks for your comment! I've always tried to engage in self-reflective exercises even before starting therapy. I've always been an introspective person. While I've never really delved too deeply into meditation, I've looked into stoicism quite a bit. In fact, I have exchanged a few emails with professor Massimo Pigliucci, which was very, very helpful!
Unfortunately, my creative side has always been shut down by my parents as I was growing up. Whenever I showed interest in poetry, piano and so on they were discarded as "non-productive" hobbies. I eventually found other ways to let my creativity flow in ways that were deemed more acceptable. Now in my 30's I'm slowly getting back into writing poetry and music. I'm no longer suppressing my sensitivity side and it feels great.
I'm glad to read you've found some help and that you've found your non-productive hobbies again! The key in my opinion is to learn self-compassion and to expand your window of tolerance. When you're in a curious, open mindset, things don't feel overwhelming. It takes practice to get there, so be kind to yourself. But it does pay off to get out there and practice actively looking and listening without forming opinions or reacting otherwise. Maybe first just in small doses. In your case some bodywork might also be helpful: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLBfCzvYS2I
I like to program and make stuff on the computer
I actually also enjoy programming quite a bit, but it can be quite daunting at times. Now when I'm a bit more aware of my mind, I think I can approach programming in a way that's more productive and not as overwhelming. :)
You've got to be zen and willing to keep learning.
