I’m pretty sure people in my small town are trying to get me to off myself but I love spiting people. They gossiped to hell and back about me and even people who knew it was wrong treat me like a pariah. They spread my deadname and called me slurs. Keeping a job here is hard but I’m saving as much as I can to move. Every time I work somewhere people try to fuck me over and management never does anything. I’ve left multiple jobs from sexual harassment and gossip. Even my art online will get stalked by them after I move but I love it too much to give it up.
I grew up in a small town so I know how absolute shit they can be. I didn’t live in the town that I went to school in and I was treated like an outsider for the entire time that I was there. Getting out was one of the best things I’ve ever done and I hope you can too. Do your best to ignore the shitheads. The drama becomes an addiction for them because these small towns have nothing else to offer.
It’s difficult when it’s people who live near you and work with you. You seem to be on the right path with saving up to move somewhere else. Negative people only take away from what little energy we should be directing towards ourselves. When you do leave they’ll realize they have nothing else and nobody else to blame but their own selves
I’ve suffered my whole life from being a constant outsider. But metta meditation really helps me find allies in people instead of enemies.