When I make a new friend online and we hang out a lot in a short space of time, I find myself hyperfocusing on wanting to interact with them. I try my best to hold myself back to what would be an acceptable level. It gets to a point where I feel like almost nothing else matters but their next response.
Does anyone else have this? If so, is there a coping technique I can do to reduce it or make it more bearable?
Used to. Constantly wanting their approval, ways to impress them, make them like me. Constantly trying, making an effort to connect, join.
Then realized was focusing on my needs. Often, people so wrapped up in their own drama, realized I wasn’t the center of the universe. So I stopped trying.
Once I did that, weird thing happened. People started to come to me, wanting to chat, hang out.
Of course, this was in a psych ward, and I’m 43, no friends, living in a crappy studio apt, and only people I talk to are myself and random strangers on the internet. So what do I know.
Hey, the people in the psych ward have the same internal drives of the people outside of the psych ward. There’s people out here that want to talk to you. Investigate that however you feel comfortable doing.
Also, the people in the psychward, while some may be hard to interact with, are super interesting!
Heck yes. Lot of creative people with fascinating stories.
Yep. Most people in psych wards are struggling, need to process, deal. A typical dynamic I’d find: in the common room during free time, a few would be hanging out, socializing. Some sitting in corner would look over, and you could see they wanted to join, but were scared to. So one of us would say, hey if you want to sit with us, feel free. Some would accept, take chair next to us, and they’d sit quietly, and we’d leave them be, not pressure. Some would thaw, start engaging more. And some would leave, go sit in a corner.
Sometimes, I’d be that person, and be grateful for them reaching out, offering to include me.
This can translate to outer world. Just, normal world, can be hard to connect, people are less honest, less weird. I do better with weird. =)