I’ve been having quite a stressful period of exams recently and at one point I started feeling a mixture of burnt out and depressed. I immediately stopped preparing for the exams, and to ease the thought that I would need to manage 2 more years of this (this is what triggered the depression), I started making plans to switch to an easier degree.
Usually when I feel depressed I know exactly why (my mind tunnel visions on the big picture problem and blocks out the present), and once I address the cause I begin to feel hopeful again. But this time, although doing these things eased the immediate feeling of burnout, I have carried on feeling depressed. I am usually a humorous person so I tried to watch my favourite comedy to rekindle my playfulness but I felt completely numb to the jokes and nuance in it that I usually appreciate. Same when I tried to socialize.
I’ve removed the cause so I don’t understand why I’m still depressed and what else I need to do to make my mind operate normally again. Could it be from other unadressed things in my life that have been in the background? Does anyone have any ideas?
When you start asking yourself “why am I sad” without having a good answer and still just being sad, that’s a good sign that you should seek professional help.
Depression often does not have a cause, in that fixing a problem won’t make the depression go away. I think one of the things often characterising depression is that it is unexplained sadness. Seek help.
Hmm, ok I’ll consider it. Whenever I’ve had it before it went away after I solved the problem. And I’ve only had it for a week atm. But I will if it carries on like this.
Is it possible that the idea of switching to a different degree, while easier, may be less fulfilling in someway? Often the challenge of a certain thing is what inherently makes it fulfilling, and “solving” that challenge by simply not doing it may not really have addressed the cause.
Is it possible that the idea of switching to a different degree, while easier, may be less fulfilling in someway?
I was just thinking about this actually. Perhaps it’s because I’m trapped in a choice with stress either way: either stress from completing a demanding degree, or stress from the imposter syndrome I’d get from trying to get into the field I’m interested in with a easier but less relevant degree. :-/
“Depression” in a medical context is not something that simply goes away. The cause is not a stressor such as exams. It is an unnatural imbalance of chemicals in your brain. This can only be treated by medication, or you can mask and adapt to learn to live with it.
I’m sure stressors can trigger episodes of more severe symptoms but one does not simply “problem solve” away depression.
This is not to say you have medical depression. However, if you notice this feeling does not go away, it may be time to consult your doctor as this is no replacement for medical advice.
Give yourself time. All “injuries” are different, and may take varying amounts of time to heal. It may be that burning out multiple times has made that spot in your psyche a little more sensitive each time. So while you’ve addressed the problem, it may just need more care before you feel better.
Allow yourself the opportunity to sit in these feelings. Don’t try to push them away or distract yourself from them. You have to face them head on and learn from them. If you cover them up with something else, then you’re not really dealing with them. They simply get queued up for the next time, and next time will be worse.
As for the next two years, it feels like a lot, but it’ll be over before you know it. Good luck on your exams, btw! You’ve got this!!
It’s a chemical imbalance that cycles down and takes time to cycle back up.
Best fixes: exercise, meditation Easy fixes: ketamine, psychedelics Hit and miss fixes: Therapy, prescription medication
