I encountered someone saying, “I have no problems with a person’s sexual orientation and choice, I have a problem with anyone being openly sexual or flaunting their sexuality in front of me regardless of their choice of orientation.”

I am a card carrying atheist. I was raised in one of the worst fundamental christian extremist groups and now live in near isolation from abandoning it nearly 10 years ago. All sexuality was bottled in my life and surroundings. This is still my comfort zone. A part of me wants to hold on to a similar ethos as the person I mentioned above, but I feel like I’m not very confident it is the right inner philosophical balance either.

I’m partially disabled now, so this is almost completely hypothetical. I am honestly looking to grow in my understanding of personal space and inner morality as it relates to others. Someone enlighten me please. Where does this go, what does it mean to you?

  • pi_fang@beehaw.org
    3·
    1 year ago

    Many comments were about the side topic of public PDA. I think another way to view consent is from the angle of the basic human need for autonomy (choice). We all have a right to decide when we want to be sexually stimulated or not. What stimulates pleasant sensations for one person may stimulate unpleasant sensations for another. There is a continuum that is highly situationally dependent. Society tries to work around this by setting clear expectations around perceived sexual stimulation. What is expected on Paris streets is different from what is expected in Chicago. What is expected on a beach in Spain is quite different than what is expected on a beach in Maine. (While public nudity isn’t inherantly sexual, some may find it titillating if not accustomed). We get into trouble when the expectations are not clear, not well communicated to outsiders, there are people who intentionally try to act outside of what is expected, or a person’s individual proclivity isn’t a good match for what is expected.

    If you want to become more open to sexuality, consider the truth that “whenever I am upset, I have the opportunity to become curious and increase my awareness”. Change comes from awareness. Since you encounted sexual neglect (purity culture?) as a child, you may benefit from EMDR therapy to help unravel and heal. A book that was transformative for me is “Enjoy Sex (How, when and if you want to) A Practical and Inclusive Guide by Meg-John Barker”.