I have Bipolar Type 1 and I was diagnosed in 2013 after the worst mania of my life. I’ve been going to therapy and taking different combinations of mood stabilizers, anti-depressants and anti-psychotics for almost a decade. I’ve tried tons of them. I’m usually given divalproex as a mood stabilizer but when I get suicidal ideation, I’m given something else. Last year, I was too depressed and I was given an anti-depressant, sertraline, but the problem was that I was losing sleep and going manic after two months of taking it so it was removed. After just three months, I had a relapse and was given it again. Sometimes I get delusional too hence the need for anti-psychotics. Right now, the clozapine I’m taking is being gradually replaced by aripriprazole. Since the dosage has been lessen, I’ve been having a hard time sleeping. I had to take aripriprazole because even with clozapine, I still began to experience delusion of reference.

It’s not easy having this disorder. The past ten years had been rough. If I had a choice, I won’t take the medication. It’s too expensive especially where I’m from. There’d be times when I would think that they don’t really work but when things start to go bad, they’re all I have. Without them, I probably won’t be around anymore. If one thinks taking psychiatric medication is not for them, then I don’t have a problem with that. There are people like me however that won’t function properly without them.