First of all, don't feel guilty over your nephew's death, it's not your fault. You were trying to respect your brothers wishes and you couldn't have known what your nephew was going through. You can't blame yourself for his death, you were only trying to do the right thing and that's what counts.

Unfortunately, if you had tried to be part of your nephew's life without your brother's consent you might have gotten into a world of trouble otherwise, so really, don't beat yourself up about that.

That said, it's unbelievably tragic what happened to your nephew and I'm so sorry for your loss! It sounds like you were a really great uncle and he valued the time he got to spend with you!

I know it's hard to turn the other cheek, but maybe if you have the time and patience you should reach out to your brother and try to be a comfort to him in this time despite his hatred towards you in the past. I think some group therapy would be in order for you and your brother, or just your brother and his family.

It's so hard to move past the death of a family member, but if you take the time and are honest with each other, you can come out the other side stronger than before.