I’ve had a ‘passion’ for programming for all my life, but recently I’ve been getting into a very, very emotional state over stuff like tooling and small things like that. The smallest things make me go off these days, and I feel so tired after every discussion. Feeling like I am in the wrong or that I don’t know what I’m talking about. I wish I could just make it all go away or somehow be happy or succeed some day. I never will tho
My first thought was: therapy. Find a good professional (sometimes takes a while) with whom you can try to understand and improve your life.
Obviously we’re different people, but my silver bullet was 300mg Wellbutrin. (150mg did nothing.)
I have ADHD that doesn’t respond to stimulants, so my doc tried Wellbutrin. Didn’t touch my ADHD, unfortunately, but I haven’t had a violent outburst in years. Last night, I dropped a piece of lasagna on the kitchen floor and reacted with a “goddammit,” instead of the tantrums I’ve had in the past. So much nicer.
Not sure what you have or haven’t tried but there’s a strong correlation between certain types of neurodivergence, depression, anxiety, imposter syndrome, and anger issues.
When my depression got out of control it was the anger issues that clued me in and got me to seek help.
If you have not discussed depression/ anxiety meds with your doctor that may be an avenue to help regulate things.
