Uni! We were just friends, though very good friends. But still firmly just friends, she was actually in a relationship for a good part of our friendship and I had zero interest in going beyond good friends with her in particular, and I especially knew better than fall for a person in a relationship - I’ve never seen one of these end well. I haven’t been interested in dating for most of my life. But I think that’s because my social life and self esteem has been seriously eeh in middle and high school, while I started really working on a social life in uni. Before jumping to dating I wanted to get a few basics down - a good friend group (ended up being several of them!), a real social life and some 1:1 close friends. Plus my own personal world of hobbies, ambitions and interests. You know - a good world to introduce a person to. At one point, I was feeling finally ready for a relationship and excited to try and accept this possible direction in life. I started acting as someone who’s interested in dating: worked on my appearance and self esteem, got more social and made it a point to socialize with everybody at events. That friend I mentioned earlier actually was on a small personal “Do not date” blacklist, because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship (read: be rejected and see the other person go cold on you until you lose them completely… I had already made that mistake) and she was the person with whom I naturally vibed the absolute best - it was effortless. Who wants to lose the effortoess friend who doesn’t drain their social battery at all?
I guess it was so effortless that when it was supposed to happen it happened, things happened, our friendship was starting to develop in a “dangerous” direction (which was making me feel wary to be fair because I was definitely starting to catch feelings), then at one point she made a move and it felt like an impossible dream come true, like the best case scenario that was so good I was not even considering it as a valid option coming to life. Easily one of the happiest moments of my life. And the rest is history.
Uni! We were just friends, though very good friends. But still firmly just friends, she was actually in a relationship for a good part of our friendship and I had zero interest in going beyond good friends with her in particular, and I especially knew better than fall for a person in a relationship - I’ve never seen one of these end well. I haven’t been interested in dating for most of my life. But I think that’s because my social life and self esteem has been seriously eeh in middle and high school, while I started really working on a social life in uni. Before jumping to dating I wanted to get a few basics down - a good friend group (ended up being several of them!), a real social life and some 1:1 close friends. Plus my own personal world of hobbies, ambitions and interests. You know - a good world to introduce a person to. At one point, I was feeling finally ready for a relationship and excited to try and accept this possible direction in life. I started acting as someone who’s interested in dating: worked on my appearance and self esteem, got more social and made it a point to socialize with everybody at events. That friend I mentioned earlier actually was on a small personal “Do not date” blacklist, because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship (read: be rejected and see the other person go cold on you until you lose them completely… I had already made that mistake) and she was the person with whom I naturally vibed the absolute best - it was effortless. Who wants to lose the effortoess friend who doesn’t drain their social battery at all?
I guess it was so effortless that when it was supposed to happen it happened, things happened, our friendship was starting to develop in a “dangerous” direction (which was making me feel wary to be fair because I was definitely starting to catch feelings), then at one point she made a move and it felt like an impossible dream come true, like the best case scenario that was so good I was not even considering it as a valid option coming to life. Easily one of the happiest moments of my life. And the rest is history.