• Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    I agree with this. I had this gorgeous friend that I never once tried making a move on our flirting with, cause she was way out of my league. We got to hanging out alone a lot and I would never do anything but just act like a normal, non horny person for once. All of a sudden she’s kissing me. Like wtf?! Good times.

    • kernelle@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      That’s why I always tell people to stop ‘looking’, that’s just desperate and off-putting. Friendships will turn into relationships if its meant to be.

        • kernelle@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          Make the move! You’ll know and they’ll know when the moment is right, but don’t rush it!

          • AlolanYoda@mander.xyz
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            1 month ago

            I’m glad I’m not searching for romantic advice in this thread because if I were I’d be so confused.

            Should I search for a friendship instead of a relationship? Should I make a move? Should I make a move on my friends?!

        • kernelle@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          That’s the thing, it will work 100% guaranteed. As long as you’re open to new friendships. Will the first person fall in love with you? Probably not. The second? Also probably not. That’s the beauty of it, you’ll either have an SO or a ton of friends, and having a friend of the opposite gender is like wingman paradise.

          • stebo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            1 month ago

            Yeah well I already have a ton of friends. I just think you can’t claim it will work 100% for everyone, because you can’t prove that.

            • kernelle@lemmy.world
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              1 month ago

              You’re missing the point by like a mile, you have to be open to new ones. Relationships don’t just appear out of nowhere.

              • stebo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                1 month ago

                I am. I’m just saying it’s not because you got lucky that this will work out for everyone, so it’s not 100%

                • kernelle@lemmy.world
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                  1 month ago

                  Oh no you’re mistaken, I got incredibly lucky. But after more than a decade I can confidently say that I’ve never seemed more desirable since I have nothing to prove. That confidence is what I’m talking about, I’ve seen many people try hard and fail. I’ve seen many more people try less and succeed.

          • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
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            1 month ago

            No it won’t. I tried that for 30 years with no success.

            For some people, if you don’t put in effort you will not get any of those things.

            • kernelle@lemmy.world
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              1 month ago

              It will, maintaining friendships and especially new ones requires a lot of effort. I’m saying when you meet people you don’t think they’ll be your SO, but rather a new friend. That’s now an entirely different conversation, one which has a much more relaxed nature, increasing the chances of a potential relationship.

          • stebo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            1 month ago

            How so? I’m not “looking” at all. I’m just seeing my friends once in a while and occasionally making new friends. Outside of that I’m just focusing on my studies. I’ve stopped caring about dating for a long time. Of course that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped wishing to meet someone.