pmakholm

That sound like more a question about the level of processing the food than a vegan vs. meat based issue.

Granted, fish bones is a special kind of bother but you can have the same sensory experiences with vegan food as well. Expecting seedless grapes, but suddenly the cook used grapes with seeds. Expecting boiled out asparagus, but getting crunchy and some that were probably harvested a little to late. Suddenly getting a little bi of hazelnut shell in your salad.

I agree than going vegan might have some benefits regarding autistic sensory issues, but most of “exact same texture and taste” is more a question of hyperprocessing the food.

Yeah.

I can’t eat sardines due to sensory issues. If I’m aware I can manage mackerel, removing most bones on my plate and handle those I miss (I won’t enjoy this extra work, though). But if I suddenly get a mouthful with many bones, it will ruin my meal as well.

I’m 46 years old and undiagnosed, but getting a professional diagnosis is not a priority for me. My take is that unless you have support needs that requires some sort of bureaucracy to kick in or have concerns about other mental health issues (depression, clinical stress, etc), getting a professional diagnosis is optional.

If you think that getting a diagnosis will bring you some closure, then I think you should investigate that path. But in my opinion the diagnosis should be the means to an end, not the end itself. Closure and self-realization is certainly a valid reason for looking into getting a diagnosis. Getting professional help does not necessarily means getting the diagnosis. You might end up getting screened using tools not quite unlike your online tests, and then after some discussion about what it means to you, decide not to progress further with diagnosis but just continue some sort of therapy session.

I should add that getting a diagnosis before being able to process having autism is valid too. But that’s not the vibe I get from Sketchpad01.

I’m all for getting a diagnosis, when it serves a goal also as part of self-realization. I’m just sad when I see diagnosis as a sort of entrance exam to the autism community.

Self-diagnosis is valid. If you feel alright in your current environment, but think that autism might explain some of your experiences, then I would not prioritize getting a real diagnosis.

Learn about autism and how it affects you specifically. Autism is not just a linear spectrum from “low functioning, infantile autism” to “high functioning, Asperges” as some stereotypical explanations would put it. Learning about autism in general helps, but what matters most is learning what it means to you: What you can do without getting drained, what you shouldn’t do, what kind of support that would help you.

As part of this journey you might realize something your parents does unknowingly to support you (or worse hinder you) or realize why you drifted apart from former friends. Some of this might be hard to accept, other things might be light-bulb moments, where things suddenly makes sense. Take your time.

At some point a diagnosis might be useful. Either to get the support you need from a bureaucracy or to get acceptance from your surroundings. But as long as you are alright, I would have a specific goal before seeking a diagnosis.

“If you are alright …”, I’ve said this twice. If you are experiencing stress (and not just the “I so busy…” kind), depression, or other mental issues then I would seek an evaluation for your autism. Treating mental issues as an otherwise neurotypical might do you more harm than good.

And finally, make sure you have a space where you can be you.

That is the perfect response. You didn’t call her out for being gay. You tried to convey your experience in a way you would expect her to be able to relate to directly. Sadly, that didn’t seem to be the way she understood it.

Communication is hard.