The exposure is deliberate. If you keep secrets they can be used to blackmail or discredit you later. If everybody already knows something it’s more difficult to weaponize against you.

The illusion of a fine upstanding pretty perfect little muusemuuse is unimportant to me. I need to be safe, not to impress people.

Getting mental health help now works against me in multiple ways. First, it creates a dependency on a support structure that can’t travel. Therapists are in short supply and high demand. Psych medications can be taken away at any time and their sudden absence would effectively paralyze me. I’m actually at a rather strange advantage having finally adjusted to their absence. I’m miserable, I’m scared, but I haven’t lost touch with reality. I understand what’s real and what isn’t. I don’t hear voices or hallucinate. I don’t have violent tendencies. There’s just no compelling reason to put myself in greater danger by getting mental health help in red state USA in 2025.

Making things public like this also limits me. I’m more likely to be guided toward a better outcome. The majority of people are still good. They still want to help eachother. Even on the Internet there’s enough good there to help me. And if I should deteriorate significantly further, this acts as a failsafe for that too. People won’t notice a gradual decline but something sudden will raise alarms.

My friends and family are incredibly worried about me but right now is that’s what I need.

Getting mental health help risks shortening my available time to prepare. It creates another dependency that could make fleeing more difficult as well.

I’m aware I’m spiraling but there’s nothing I can do about it here. Getting mental health care is dangerous now as the Trump administration already said their end goal is to take psych patients and put them in work camps.

I lost access to health care when I lost my job a while back. When I got a new job when health coverage, Trump came to power and I now can’t risk using it. Even if it goes well, they medication could be taken away at any moment and I’ll have to go through a sudden withdrawl again. I’ll lose my job if that happens, which means I’ll be worse off than I am now.

I need to get myself in a situation where it is safe to care for myself.

But I’ll have a target on my back and be tethered to those locations.

I’m almost 40, only speak English, only have my bachelors. :(

I dont have any qualifications to teach.

It’s only halfway paid off but it worth more than I paid so I’m keeping it. A uhaul is probably in the cards anyway.

Already in discussion but not really progressing.

Oh god I miss pet therapy. My cat died last year. A snuggly little manx named Ada Lovelace. I still miss her terribly. I dont have any downtime or spare money right now and I don’t see that changing. A lot needs to go well in my life for me to be able to pull off this self-rescue, and I’m still in the planning stages but I appreciate the offer.

I drive a chevy bolt EV. While it has fast charge capability, it’s still a cheap EV and that fast charge still takes about an hour. Going through hostile territory isnt likely safe in my little hippymobile since I will be vulnerable at charging stations. I’ll probably have to rent a uhaul and tow it, making this trip more expensive.

My fear is that will take more time than I have.

The costs are higher but so is the average pay so it’s bad but not as bad as it seems. As for Ohio, this state is heavily gerrymandered and has been for years. The republicans regularly ignore the courts and their constituents. There is no accountability here.

That’s the problem. We can all see whats coming, but it’s happening so fast that it will be too late. If I put in for asylum, I’ll be dead in the oven before anyone can even process the paperwork. If I just cross the border and try to wait things out there, I’ll have no way to feed or house myself, I’ll have no access to medications. And if things go really bad and this spreads to canada, they may just send be back to the US and I’ll end up in an oven anyway.

There isn’t a non-violent solution to fascism. I am one unarmed man in Ohio. I can’t do anything about the nazis. I voted against them. I’ve signed petitions. I’ve done all the things a functioning society has available but they don’t work when your opponent isn’t playing the same game by the same rules. Unless these guys start dropping like flies things wont change. This thing has its own momentum now. I don’t have the ability to change that.

I think I might fall into the refugee category. I feel ridiculous saying that as there are others who are far worse off than I am though.

Well a big problem is going to be installing a charging station for the car once I get here. But someone said elsewhere that Oregon isn’t as blue as it might seem and that outside the cities it’s much like Ohio.

Maybe I will have to move to Canada after all. But I can’t figure out how to do that fast enough that I would be safe.

What make lemmy users more important than non-Lemmy users? My point is if we all rise us and started purging Nazis, things would rapidly change for the better. At least for those left behind it would. But if we do nothing, we are going to the gas chamber anyway.

Social media is not your friend. It is a propaganda machine. Once the rich notice Lemmy they will fuck it up for everyone here too.

Finding a roommate will be incredibly difficult especially from here. I couldn’t even find a roommate here in Ohio.

Nobody needs me. I’m a drain.