Hi! I’m checking out kbin. I’m also on Mastodon @rmiddleton and Calckey @rmiddleton bc I’m a FediFanatic! I’m a humanist, a writer, and an abstract painter. I’m committed to personal growth, mental wellness, promoting equality & fighting fascism in my home state of Florida.
👤: Rob, he/him, neurodivergent, cis 🏳️‍🌈

  • 3 Posts
  • 5 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 11th, 2023

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  • To calm my mind I work to reduce:

    • unwanted inputs
    • broadcast media
    • advertising
    • bad faith arguing (and the unfortunate corresponding output of me arguing back, feeling angry & hopeless)
    • time and energy spent harming my own wellbeing (I chose a path of financial instability for mental health; my prior jobs made me & the world worse)

    & to increase:

    • silence
    • walking
    • nature appreciation
    • reading
    • creativity
    • meditation

    Meditation is something I have felt for years I should do, but didn’t. Just last week I started a new daily practice. I had difficulty with apps and podcasts and YouTube videos because of the capitalist need for $urvival. When the path to inner peace features billboards I tend to lose focus. So I started doing it myself. I’m recording the sessions and will share them to encourage others who may be like me. I intend to show that maybe it’s not so difficult and foreign to pause and breathe and talk to oneself. In no way am I following any meditation tradition. I considered coming up with another label but felt that meditation would be the one most easily understood. I have joined this community and will post my meditation series here in the next week or two.

    My name is Rob. I’m 51. I’m an abstract expressionist painter. My diagnoses (received in my early 20s) are ADHD, major depression, and eventually bipolar. I have taken many prescriptions. I have attended much therapy. I’m not doing either at the moment, for a combination of financial and DIY/philosophical reasons. I do not judge the course others take on their route to survival. At least I aspire not to judge. It’s one thing I’m working on, including in meditation.

    P.S.
    I experienced mild anxiety as I wrote this comment in the form of these thoughts:

    • Maybe after one day HandOfDoom already received enough response. I can think of many times I’ve reached out online then retreated as I felt overwhelmed by replies — and I’m not talking as someone with a huge following, 3 replies can overwhelm me!
    • If I’m not careful I will write a book length response because figuring this stuff out is my life story.

  • Since you mentioned “boring” — Probably the most out of step thing about me is that I think boredom is healthy. I think constantly stimulating stories (and consumption habits, relationships, news…) are interfering with the hard, slow work of sustainable existence. (I just realized I’m almost quoting Dr. Wong! Sorry lol)

    I crave entertainment and distraction. And I admit my huge flaw of falling into a lecturing tone. Sigh. I don’t mean it. I only want to control me. It’s just that for most of my life I’ve been pretty unhappy and dysfunctional & I see links between my past state and a desire for escape and constant entertainment. Is this still about kissing in movies? Maybe. We are just sharing opinions on the internet. Getting feelings out is good.

    Gonna go watch Andy Warhol’s “Sleep” now…



  • I’m not currently using RSS, it’s been years. And yes I also felt overwhelmed. I have same problem with Podcasts on my iPhone and honestly email. Just like in most cases I don’t want to be pushed content. My brain feels bad for not keeping up. The best use of RSS that I can imagine for me would be following a small number of original content creators who post erratically in multiple platforms. It’s another reason I love the fediverse so much bc we can slap /feed on the end of many addresses to pull that content elsewhere. And again I’m not currently using RSS lol. I’m just saying that I might use it for passionate follows. I think it’s a useful tool for getting people free of the big bad platforms.