It is… It is green

Nor is it early

This is the plot of I’m My Own Grandpa

That’s not how it works. I’m a door dash driver. We get a base pay, (usually $2-$3 per order but can be more if it’s peak hours) plus tip. The base pay isn’t affected by tips.

We see the total (base pay plus tip) when we are deciding whether to take an order. Orders without tips are rejected by most drivers.

And now you’re-a-peein’?

Straight squirrels have polish ears

Landing an airplane from a passenger seat takes mad skill! Respect!

Still can’t hit that one high note

slow clap

That was a masterpiece

That not too far off how they used to program computers with punch cards

That’s the way to be!

Felis Catus 
is your taxonomic nomenclature 
An endothermic quadruped 
carniverous by nature 
Your visual, olfactory, 
and auditory senses 
Contribute to your hunting skills 
and natural defenses. 
I find myself intrigued 
by your sub-vocal oscillations 
A singular development 
of cat communications 
That obviates your 
basic hedonistic predilection 
For a rhythmic stroking of your fur 
to demonstrate affection. 
A tail is quite essential 
for your acrobatic talents 
You would not be so agile 
if you lacked its counterbalance 
And when not being utilized 
to aid in locomotion 
It often serves to illustrate 
the state of your emotion 
Oh Spot, 
The complex levels of behavior you display 
Denote a fairly well developed cognitive array 
And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend 
I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.

That’s why we should have the right to listen to every phone call happening near us

How else are you supposed to print out your favorite videos?

Also doesthedogdie.com for a whole bunch of specific things you can check for

Archer is a secret agent who is afraid of alligators, crocodiles, and brain aneurysms. Burnham is a guy who healed the world with comedy from his bedroom.

I love Risa or RISA, or however the properly capitalized way it is.

Risa, it's the name of the vacation planet

Today is a good day to cry

"We will do glorious battle with your issues and insecurities! Today is a good day to cry!"

The artificial weather is making the Federation soft. We have to shut it down.