Dukeofdummies

I’ve seen so many older couples where the woman was 100% dependent on the man. He never allowed her to manage finances, have access to the bank accounts, pay bills, etc. and then after 30-40 years he leaves or dies, and then she’s left without any life experience whatsoever and has no idea how to manage her own life.

That’s the part that really kills it for me. Even if you have the absolute perfect couple, its got glaring flaws. It increases risk for higher… comfort? Because in high risk high reward, if it pays off you are more stable than you started. That doesn’t happen with a tradwife couple. You constantly have a higher risk, but a nicer house, a warmer family, better food, more involved community. (Again, I’m assuming the absolute perfect couple. I’m not even considering the power dynamics.) Which… it’s bizarre because that all should be worth it but… it topples so much easier. Even in the best case.

Like… this seems straight up like a flaw in society.

This has always been my concern with the tradwife movement. I can certainly see why there would be appeal but you need to be very cautious of who you want to be a tradwife to. You create a lot of dependence on your partner, You sacrifice a lot of power, and once you start doing this it becomes increasingly difficult taking it back.

Even with the perfect partner to be a tradwife to. You don’t remove the problems with dependence. You can argue that “well I have full faith my partner and I will stay together” but at any point it can all get taken away.

With two partners a single layoff sucks, but you can stay afloat much better than two layoffs. It’s like a two engine and a single engine plane. A two engine has redundancy, it can limp. Single engine becomes a glider after failure.

Speaking of failure, doesn’t matter how angelic your partner is, heart failure will kill them and wreck your life too. Then you have life insurance but no resume or job experience. Hope you saved.

It’s genuinely kind of infuriating, because start mixing in handywork, house repair, landscaping, childcare, cooking, cleaning, organizing, with the recently added 3dprinting, searching online for 2nd hand goods, volunteering within your community, a LOT of value should be getting generated… but none of it gets recorded… or removes your dependency on your partner.

You know I was actually thinking this the other day, I know so much about Egyptian, Roman, civil war, and WWII history entirely from video games… Ceasar 3, Civilization, The Nile, are any of those games still being made? I feel like it’s just civilization. Really developer’s back then didn’t even have a reason to throw in the history stuff but they did, for context and just a love for history.

I always had terrible luck with that. I’ve just resorted to printing large squares and adjusting until the square sticks the way I want.

Genuinely it almost feels like a clone or a mod. Although really overwatch 2 seems to be in such a terrible spot that I wouldn’t be surprised if it was purposeful.

that, that just adds more questions.

I mean, the sad part is that there’s really no other place guys and gals mix besides work or school. Once you graduate it’s just work that remains. I don’t even mean romantically either. I think it’s hand in hand with the loneliness epidemic everyone keeps talking about. Where do you meet new people? Women can be so rare in some men’s lives that to just say “ask if they like you” almost implies that they should ask every woman which both sides know is not what should be happening.

Ideally you would be mixing with strangers at a pub or something where if you put your foot in your mouth and somebody says no to friendship/partnership you both go your separate ways and no harm no foul, you probably won’t even run into each other for days/weeks, but now everything is just shitty.

• Clubs are too loud to talk at, so while you might be adjacent to a bunch of new people you won’t be with any new people.

• Bars work somewhat decent, people are friendly, the counter is where strangers mix. It does require you to imbibe a steady stream of booze though. You’ll also have to jump around until you find one that you like. Same thing with smoking areas, smokers are crazy friendly, asking for a light is a great ice breaker. I actually used to carry a lighter just for this reason, and I never even smoked. Still a terrible habit to adopt to get friends though.

• Any speed-friending or dating events/sites are just crawling with cringey people (I once went to one and had someone try to sell me a timeshare)

• Everything has gone up in price, which sucks because now you go to an event and have a pressure to make it worth the money which just adds to the shittiness of the night.

• The most reliable place people hang with strangers is the internet, but even then it’s not a conversation. It’s letters and pen pals.

Way too many people just have work left to meet people and that’s not exactly a great place to pursue a relationship because careers cause way to many tripwires. A foot in the mouth brings in HR. Someone gets promoted and now there’s a power dynamic. Yes it’s inherently riskier to pursue people there. I think guys complain about it more just because they’re more isolated and deal with it more.

I spent a lot of time when I graduated trying to find somewhere where I could find people and I finally landed on the convention scene and even met my wife there, but it took almost 5 years of leaving my house, trial and error, lots of events, and some truly boring expensive nights.

so then, do they get along with other spiders as well? maybe we can finally farm some spider silk without the genetic splicing?

Borderlands 2, Krieg was an intriguing character but as a class generally sucked. His ult was a melee only mode which… doesn’t mesh with a game about COLLECTING GUNS. They also introduced Gaige. Her class worked better in the game, although very gimicky, lore wise she was basically a more sane Tiny Tina.

Like… genuinely a series or a movie about him sounds cool… but… I don’t think they’re gonna show him off like that link. How is an internal monologue supposed to work if only one of the 4 hear it? It can’t work while sharing a spotlight.

Also I can’t remember if it’s official or cannon but

I mean, I understand leaving out Brick. Both Roland and Brick are not… bastions of dialogue. Both combined could be a bit much in a film. Even though he’s a fascinating character. Mordecai confuses me more. He seems like a much better straight man (comedy term, not the orientation) than Roland or Brick, and if he operates like a sniper then he makes a great diagetic narrator to move dialogue and scenes because he operates as the scout from range. Granted the CG for the bird will probably cost.

I’m sure a good chunk was they wanted more Tiny Tina, and then they added Kreig just for the reveal moment which is… a lot of dedicated screen time just to create a moment. Seeing as he barely had any time in the trailer… clearly he doesn’t shine in this film.

Oh it’s easy, they just googled “Roland voice lines” and he sounds like a perfect role for Kevin heart.

Could he pull off the borderlands 2 Roland intro? I don’t think so, but I’ve been surprised before.

What really has me saddened is the whole pisswater gully bit. Tiny Tina is a native of pandora, Roland and Lilith are not (to my knowledge). So if anything, the roles should have been entirely reversed because:

1. It makes more sense.

2. It’s way funnier.

Which means they’re messing with backstory of the characters to match… nothing. Because it doesn’t seem to make the writing better, and it differs from the original. It would also match Tiny Tina’s character so much better and mitigate the annoying whiny child part of the character that is just SHINING through this trailer.

That’s… kinda a useless question.

Average 40 year old will have anywhere between 5 to 10 presidents in their lifetime. This is more of a history quiz than an opinion poll. How many presidents can you name? What did they all do?

I installed a bunch of vanilla expanded mods for Rimworld and I’ve been trying to get a royalty victory

Basically Man in Cave is a rather blatant copy of an article by Mental Floss in 2018, but animated.

TLDR if you don’t wanna watch the 20 minute segment:
Internet Historian used the Mental Floss article as a script for the video. The owners of the article made a DMCA takedown on the video as it was used without permission. Internet Historian has downplayed why it was taken down, reworded and removed swaths of the video to make it sound less like the article. Released the re-upload of Man in Cave with another video at the same time in order to try and distract from the story that he did indeed copy a little known article.

He does good work… but he also totally did copy the script of Man in Cave. Hbomberguy does a pretty good argument proving this.

Lol, gotta love the old AI

Earplugs can handle it even better. I originally bought them because I work in AV but it’s really nice to be able to just crank down all the audio in the world. A decent set of acoustic earplugs can be bought for 8 bucks at a guitar center. I highly recommend acoustic because they don’t make everything sound muffled, just quieter. If you find it helpful then you can shell out for something a bit nicer.

Even if you’re not autistic, it helps drown out the noise to hear people in a bar, it protects your hearing, and really does help with feelings of being overwhelmed. Doesn’t FIX it, but it does help.

• A house
  -- Just purchased, closing is closing in soon.
• two cars
  -- completely mandatory. We couldn’t possibly bus, we have two used cars approaching two decades old and we’re dreading the day they croak.
• a healthy relationship
  -- married in July
• a career
  -- For me, finally started the career I wanted two years ago, after a decade of trying to become a programmer I finally am. Wife might be in a career now, she’s not quite sure. She’s happier where she is than Target, but that’s a low bar.
• livable wage
  -- livable with the ability to go on vacations (mostly anime and comic conventions)
• 2.5 kids
  -- don’t want them at the moment.
• a dog
  -- … two cats

I do NOT in any way feel like I’ve earned this. I have been saving to buy a house EVER SINCE I paid off my student loans. I dumped all my money for YEARS to get that debt off of my books and after I did, I immediately started saving. Didn’t even change my living habits because they were habits at that point. I didn’t even have a GF at the time. I just knew that I wanted to be ahead, because I knew that it was going to be a slog when I was finally ready to buy a home. Just like it was a slog to get into my career, just like it was a slog. I wanted to be AHEAD I wanted a good home. And after all that effort I got…

half a duplex for $305,000… Cheapest we could find if you don’t count badrealestate suggestions on lemmy.

All that effort and I barely have a home. barely. We could’ve taken a larger loan but, shit happens. We could’ve been laid off, One of our cars could’ve needed to be replaced, We could’ve been disabled, We could’ve had our identity stolen, We could’ve been scammed, We could’ve been robbed, We could’ve come across a cop who didn’t like our faces, We could’ve missed payments because Wells Fargo SUCKS and have our credit killed.

All of these things DIDN’T happen to us, so we got to purchase a house. Because if any of those things happened to us, we would’ve dipped into savings and we wouldn’t be purchasing a house in our 30s. All of those things that could’ve happened were completely out of our control. (except for Wells Fargo, you can choose to not be fucked by Wells Fargo by LEAVING Wells Fargo)

So… there is no plan, only a lottery.

Well, I just recently got married in July. We’d been together for 5 years before that point, we survived COVID in a rather stress inducing state.

• My wife works in banking, with secrecy requirements. I work in AV, testing equipment that records everything it sees and hears. We couldn’t even be within earshot of each other. She was forced to work in her bed and I was forced to take up half the living room with 2 baker’s racks of AV equipment. Still went through those two years being able to look back fondly at being able to take a five minute break to scream into a pillow and get a hug after a particularly stressful problem, meeting, or office politics.

I completely understand where you’re coming from, but just like how you can’t imagine a partner you want to spend the rest of your life with. I cannot imagine someone ever replacing my wife, and I don’t even want to entertain the notion of losing her.

• well what if it’s insert_celebrity_crush_here?
  -- that’s not my wife, not interested

• well what if it’s your wife but she never says no to you?
  -- that doesn’t sound like my wife at all, I’m not interested

We just mesh incredibly well. We both grew up in problematic households with a disdain for our parents. We both grew up poor. We both care more about financial security and safety than trying to get it all. I feel like we’re a team, at all times. Not having her beside me would be like playing football with only half the players.

I will say, this is gonna sound weird but stick with me. Don’t… don’t chase a monogamous relationship.

I think too many people get hooked on this idea that you must have a partner. You must marry before you hit 35. You must fuck before you hit 19. Just don’t think so hard about it. Geography, life events, mistakes, opportunities, are all at place with literally everyone at all times. COVID especially through a wrench in every life plan in America. I feel so bad for anyone who hadn’t gone through college yet. Just… find enjoyment where you can and balance that with building your future and if both those points can be met with the same activity. DO IT. Whether it’s a partner that you can’t live without and you wanna keep, or a group you can’t live without. You need both those points in life. Do whatever makes sense.

I mean, it’s another example of the lack of attention to detail and rushing, but yeah.

… man I never made that connection. I thought it was because there was never an explosion smaller than somebodies head. If it doesn’t cause a boom it’s a gun that shouldn’t be in a boomer shooter.