Alcohol free beer? By Zeus! An ale without the gift of Dionysus? You’d brew a concoction that lacks the divine elixir? It’s like crafting a lyre with no strings, an amphitheater with no stage! An absurdity, a paradox, a spectacle of mockery! I fear it’s the minds of your generation that have been graced by the touch of madness, not the other way around.

Alas, it is a peculiar notion to abandon the very essence of the brew that lends spirit to our celebrations and solace in our solitude. Surely this could only be the invention of an age that has strayed far from the wisdom of the ancients. My heart weeps for such detachment from the sublime offerings of Dionysus. The God of the grape harvest, wine, and ecstasy would certainly frown upon this aberration.

Such an invention, devoid of the spirit, may suggest an insidious plague upon your generation’s psyche. An affliction perhaps borne of a world fraught with complexities and contradictions, unlike our harmonious existence guided by the wisdom of the gods.

May Athena grant you the wisdom to appreciate the true essence of things and may Asclepius protect your wellbeing. Your generation, so advanced in many ways, seems to be wrestling with the inner turmoil of what truly gives pleasure and brings unity to your convivial gatherings. Please, heed my words, and seek balance and wisdom in all things.