Thank you Nome @NomedaBarbarian
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@NomedaBarbarian on Twitter:
Thinking about how I’ve been lied to as an #ADHD person about what habits are.
That apparently is not what neurotypical folks get to experience.
Habits are things that they do without thinking.
They don’t have to decide to do them. They don’t have to remember to do them. Things just happen, automatically, because they’ve done them enough for that system to engage and make them automatic.
That system…which I lack.
Every single time I have brushed my teeth, it’s been an active choice. I’ve had to devote thought and attention to it. It’s not a routine, it’s not a habit, it’s something that I know is good to do, and hopefully I can remember to do it.
Every single time I exercise, or floss, or pay my rent, or drink water, or say “bless you” when someone sneezes,
It’s because I’ve had to actively and consciously engage the protocol.
It never gets easier.
Just more familiar.
It’s part of my struggle with my weight–exercise never becomes a habit, and every single time I do it, it is exactly as hard as the first time. It takes exactly as much willpower & thought.
I got lied to about how it would just “turn into a habit”. And blamed, when it didn’t.
Drinking water isn’t a habit. Feeding myself isn’t a habit. Bathing isn’t a habit.
I spend so much more energy, so much more time, so much more labor on just managing to maintain my fucking meat suit.
And now you want me to ALSO do taxes?
ON TIME?
This particular post isn’t very… polite toward neurotypical people.
Like you say, there’s a key difference between “making a behavior into the default” and “consistently managing to do something.”
But I think we can both understand that this is likely to offend the neurotypical folks wandering onto this page. Especially because we’re all pretty new to Lemmy (NTs and NDs alike) and I can guarantee you most of us still don’t know where to find the “block community” button on the sidebar. Meaning they literally don’t know how to avoid this kind of content popping up on their “all” and “local” feeds.
To put this in real-life terms, this lemmit is like an ADHD support group… but there’s a young, inexperienced sommelier standing outside on the street offering free pizza and beer to random strangers saying, “come on in! This place is bumping!”
… and then, the neurotypical people he has invited in (along with neurodivergents and everything in between), after sitting down in a circle with the rest of us – not sure why there’s no disco lights or dance music – proceed to immediately receive complaints about how much easier their life is than ours.
It wouldn’t feel great being in their shoes right now.