I’ve had severe demand avoidance my whole life. If people interrupt me or keep trying to get my attention without considerable breaks, I get quite overwhelmed. I mean that I can easily go into a complete meltdown if someone continues to interrupt me after I’ve asked them to please stop, even if their interruption is seemingly helpful and selfless.

I seriously broke up with a girl that loved the hell out of me because she just couldn’t stop interrupting me when I was engaged in something. I completely blocked another friend I had for ~17 years after going on an international trip with him because after asking him repeatedly to please stop blurting out every single idea he has, to save them until I seem like I want to hear it. Nope, he just couldn’t do that. It is just completely unbearable for me, and after leaving the trip on my own earlier than planned, I blocked all opportunities for him to contact me. I would be happy to never hear from or of him ever again. That’s how much I cannot tolerate demands.

Aside from that, the best part of my day is when I go to bed to lie down for the night. It is my safe place where I know no one will interrupt me because everyone is asleep. This happens even if I live alone.

Unfortunately, the way this plays out is that I end up isolating myself and have pretty bad sleep issues since I basically stay in bed awake for hours at night. It’s like my body wakes up once I hit the bed, which is terrible for sleep hygiene. Last night, I went to best at midnight and didn’t fall asleep until 5am, so I’m exhausted-tired today.

I’m working with a therapist to develop a social circle that is healthier for me, so that’s on the horizon…hopefully. When I review my life, my favorite relationships are ones where I just co-exist with someone in the same space without much direct verbal interaction. I enjoy touch and sharing, but not if they talk a lot. And if they do talk a lot, I prefer if they keep the talking consolidated rather than spreading it out throughout the day. I can tolerate 2 hour conversations wayyy better than 6 hours of talking for 5 mins repeatedly.

Any other suggestions on how to manage this?

  • BilboBargains@lemmy.worldEnglish
    5·
    1 year ago

    I'm also new to this game. It's been a strange few years and it still feels like barely scratching the surface. I remember complaining about the noise and bustle in the open office on multiple occasions, only to be met with blank stares. At some point I realised that the common denominator was my perception, that was a turning point. Since then I treat a quiet workspace as an inviolable requirement and it's made a huge difference to productivity. I have limited capacity for social interaction and small talk but since accepting that is the way I am, it's not a problem. I don't care if my unread email piles up, if people want to talk they will find me. It used to be a source of anxiety but now I just let people know they won't get a quick response and people are fine with it.

    Meditation has been a game changer, huge difference for anxiety and general happiness. I think we can be happy if we find our way and our people. Part of that is letting go of the things that hold us back.