I bought a steam deck. Its the best thing if you don’t have lots of time as you can pause and turn it off and pick up where you left off later. Obviously that won’t work for online games great for project zomboid though. YMMV

Nothing makes me enjoy games like moderation. But moderation isn’t just how often you choose to play - it’s also how much you’re expected to play.

I’m going to discuss both, because I think people underestimate personal moderation. But I suspect gameplay moderation is your struggle.

Personal moderation:

Games mimic psychological fulfilment (problem-solving, self-actualisation, etc). But it’s not in a lasting way, they’re just more attainable.

It’s like buying a chocolate bar vs cooking yourself a roast meal. It’s easier, it’s pleasant, and there’s nothing wrong with enjoying it - but if it’s the only thing I’m doing, and I never put in the work for something more satisfying, I feel unsatisfied - even emotionally ‘sick’ (bored, restless, ennui). When they are a treat at the end of a day, they feel great. But when they are my day, I struggle to enjoy them.

This is the trap that often catches directionless people (eg: depressed, NEET, lonely). They don’t play games for games, they play them to avoid the anxiety or stress of cooking a roast meal. They eat chocolate until they feel sick, and then feel too sick to cook.

Gameplay moderation:

Games are designed for people who have time to burn. Teenagers, kids, some young adults. When you were younger, you could afford to burn that time, and it felt good, because each session meant you felt that hit of dopamine for problem-solving, achievement, and progression.

But now, you can’t. You’re an adult, you don’t have that time. And yet games aren’t being designed for you anymore, but the new kids and teens. They brag about dozens or even hundreds of hours of playtime, and bloat their content with grind. (if anything, the latter has gotten even worse.)

You only have an hour to play a game, and after that hour, there’s no feeling of progression or advancement - the game expects you to give it more time than that. And without the feeling of progression and advancement, games don’t feel as engaging.

That is why they feel like chores, like jobs; it’s why you choose things that give immediate feedback like the internet. Games are asking you to put in too much time and then not giving you enough back.

Portal 2 is considered a masterful game at five hours long, because each hour is rewarding. Is Destiny? Is Halo? Froza?

If this is your concern, my suggestion would be to step back from the bigger scale games that want to monopolise time, and embrace smaller games from indie devs.

You’ll get far more variety, they tend to be much denser. They’re also cheap enough that it’s worth it to try a bunch of things you might not have tried if they were AAA.

If somebody says a game is ‘only 6 hours of gameplay’, see that as a positive, not a negative. It probably means each hour is going to mean something.

The Forgotten City is the one that restored my hope in gaming.

I do two basic things when I get on a rut. I replay a favorite RPG with mods and a very specific roleplaying theme. For example I played fallout 4, console commanded myself a million caps, high charisma, and liw intelligence. I played through as a rich idiot. The other thing I do is find a game way outside my normal style and see if I can figure out the appeal that it has to other people.

I just homebrewed my Wii and have been having a blast playing GameCube and Wii games I never had but always wanted to try.

Naruto Clash of Ninja 4 for example is a PHENOMENAL game that I had never even heard of before two days ago

Honestly my current jump back into gaming was playing Breath of the Wild on my Switch while on deployment. I did have a hiatus a few years back which was broken by my attempt at beating Bloodborne (wholly unsuccessful, btw, it’s not really my speed but I enjoyed the heck out of it). My go-to game for decompressing is Stardew Valley. I just love being able to jump in and maybe harvest some crops, maybe explore the mines, maybe go interact with the villagers even.

Another tactic of mine when I’m in a funk is to pick up an older rpg (snes or ps1 preferred) and start working on it.

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate and smaller gaming sessions might be what you are looking for.
I usually get an hour or so a day to play and I’ve been having a blast with Deep Rock Galactic. The game is a buy once and play with the only monetization being cosmetic DLC but I believe it is FREE on Game pass (I think); $30 on Steam but on sale for less than $10 for the next week.

It is an horde based first person shooter with 4 classes that feel unique, balanced, and bring their own strengths and tools to help out each mission. Locations are all procedurally generated, which means that you can select the same mission in the same area and it will be a new layout everytime, and it’s done well so you won’t get screwed over my stuff morphing into the terrain or areas blocked off cause the cave generated all screwy.

Mission difficulty can be customized to suit your wants, ranging from super chill and very few enemies, to “OH GOD THERE ARE SO MANY ENEMIES AND WHY ARE THEY SO FAST?!”. I have been known to play the hardest difficulty one mission, then crank it down to the easiest to finish out a quick mission before bed just to relax a bit.

You can play solo or with a group of 3 other people but playing with others is the way to go, as you get to see how all of the classes interact and help each other, plus the community has actually been wonderful; out of the hundreds of lobbies I have been in, I have had maybe 3 annoying people total. I also never use my headset for talking (sleeping kids and whatnot) but in game text chat is lively and most of your communication can be done through the “ping” system where you point your reticle at something (enemy, item, player, etc) and call it out for everyone to see. Also there is a button specifically to shout “Rock and Stone!” Which will be around 90% of what you need and will use when communicating with teammates, lol.

Unlike some other games that pressure you to keep playing to “progress your character/battle pass” I feel no urgency with this game. While there is a battle pass style system, it is all cosmetic, FREE, and usually last a few months at a time (like 6-8). If you happen to miss something from a current or previous season, they are still in game and can be found naturally through gameplay by finding “lost crates/gear” during your mission.

All in all I recommend this game to anyone who is comfortable with a FPS. Developers are friendly, community is great, game is fun and forgiving. I feel that, in a worst case scenario, it’s fun for a bit and you pick up something else. Hope you find what you are looking for, Rock and Stone!

This does sound like something beyond gaming; you do have a lot on your plate like you said.

At different points in my life my gaming time also changed, depending on what my priorities are.

Eventually the want to game comes back and I’ll spend a weekend or two on something fun.

It does sound like you’re burnt out in general, and I’m not sure more gaming might help. I think the first thing to do is to find a way to establish some “me” time, like a solid block of an hour or two where you can do something for yourself. Doesn’t have to be gaming, but it has to be for you. Once you can get that going you can work gaming into it, or some other hobby.

Feeling the same, even tho my life hasn’t been nearly as stressful as yours. Games, especially new single player games with thousands of hours of content just aren’t fun for me anymore, even tho I loved Skyrim, Fallout, Dragon Age and Witcher. But I still find a lot of fun playing games with friends.

Especially DayZ. It’s like, really just taking a long walk with friends in the forest, because that’s what the game is lol. Strolling arounds in Cherno, sitting together at the campfire and talking about our days, sometimes meeting with strangers and sharing that experience (or getting into a stressful firefight 😅). These are really the best experiences I had with gaming to this day.