• torpak@discuss.tchncs.de
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    1 year ago

    My mental health has been slowly degrading over the last 20 years. But when something changes very slowly I always wonder “did it really change?”. Also when I am depressed it feels like I have allways been depressed. So for a long time I didn’t do anything about it and just tried to function. Our neighbours, who are also friends are social workers and they work with autistic people who can not live without help but are mostly independent. They once let slip that they think I could be autistic. When everything got so bad that I finally couldn’t procrastinate looking for therapy any more I had an initial talk with a psychologist. They asked some questions we were talking about many aspects of my life when I told them about the theory. Next thing they told me was: “This must be diagnosed before you start any kind of therapy because the therapy would need to be completely different depending on the diagnosis.” So I started searching for places who diagnose autism in adults. Every one in my area had waiting lists for years so I started looking further out. In the end I was lucky and found a place in a city I could reach by train (I can’t drive) where I had to wait only a month or so. The friendly psychologist there told me after a few minutes that she was reasonably sure I was autistic and had ADHD but that we still needed to do all the tests just to be sure. We did all the tests and it was confirmed.

    • BOMBS@lemmy.worldOPM
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      1 year ago

      Wowww. That’s a long hard road. I’m happy your neighbors let slip out and that you took as valuable information to make sense of your difficulties. Did you end up engaging in mental health services after the diagnosis?

      • torpak@discuss.tchncs.de
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        1 year ago

        Had my first therapy session last week. We both still have to decide if we are a good fit, but it’s looking good. It was already a big help for me knowing that I’m not just lazy and wasting my talent but doing my best in a bad situation and that no amount of willpower would have gotten me over this.

        I can now have much more compassion with myself. Life is still hard but I’m taking steps to make it better and I’m not alone. My wife supports me as much as she can.

        • BOMBS@lemmy.worldOPM
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          1 year ago

          I’m so happy for you! I hope it works out with this therapist. If it doesn’t, there are a bunch more therapists you can engage with. Some of the most helpful advice I got when I first found out about being autistic was to “listen to your gut”. If something doesn’t feel right, then you don’t need to endure it. You’re paying for it, so it should be a safe and helpful experience.

          • torpak@discuss.tchncs.de
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            1 year ago

            I’m not very good at identifying feelings that are not extreme. So that is sadly not very much use to me.

            • BOMBS@lemmy.worldOPM
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              1 year ago

              Same. I even have trouble telling when I’m hungry. I usually can only tell when I’m either irritable or weak and notice that I haven’t eaten in a long time.