I will build a mech from toasters. I will implant tiny toasters on to satellites and rockets to control the world from space.

Are babies toasters? I will use my toaster powers to change the definition of toasters in all major dictionaries. The sun is a toaster. People are toasters. I control all life. Mortality is a toaster. There is no bread, only toast. Press the lever down again. The brave little toaster is a global icon. Press the lever down again. We are the immoral children of a loafing god. Press the lever down again. Mosquitos no longer exist, or maybe they do, they’ve just been transtoastified into kittens. Push the lever down again. No more paper cuts. Push the lever down again. Now I have a nice hat. Push the lever down again.

Push the lever down again…