why is so hard to act human? why isn’t obvious what you should say or do to be accepted?? :(

  • BitchJerky@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    It’s hard to human-ate when it’s primarily neurotypical people who NUANCE a lot. Navigating through and learning all about things like Passive Aggressive ‘compliments’, double talk, very sudden shifts in mood/temperament, what some may consider insulting or not, it’s a big goopy mess and I, for one, don’t like it either.

    It’s also difficult if you have a tendency to process what you hear a little slowly so that may take some time (audio processing is an issue for me and my kid both), and it’s also harder if you just… would really appreciate people not getting mad at you for not speaking the same dialect of ‘human’ as you do.

    Sometimes, speaking via text can give you some of that breathing room you may need to think if you’re able, I’ve found.

    It’s hard, and the tips that @A_Wild_Zeus_Chase gave are really good. When you find your friends that you can pterodactyl screech at as a means of communicating, that will help too.

    • SuddenDownpour@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Nitpick. NTs tend to pay a lot of attention to the nuance of vibes, tone and non-verbal communication, and much less so to the technicalities of what’s being said. Say something that is pretty much in line with what they think, but using connotations they dislike, and a good bunch of them will miss the point that you’re actually agreeing with them.