I don’t mind Tom Bombadil being left out (he and Goldberry deserve their own Middle Earth Musical) but my man Fatty Bolger was done dirty in the movies.

Everyone thinks Hagrid is Scottish because of that other groundskeeper.

Didn’t the ring slip away from Gollum because it sensed Sauron gaining strength? I thought it was dormant more than anything. If the ring had somewhere better to be it would have acted on Gollum sooner. Gollum chilled in the cave for 500 years because that’s what the ring wanted to do, just waiting for its master.

Tolkien himself literally said the eagles are not a taxi service lol

Are you implying the eagles are Valar? What you say about the Valar intervening is true but the eagles are mortal beasts. The reason I’ve heard most often is that eagles are not stealthy enough, Sauron would see them coming and counter them with fell beasts, nazgul, archers, siege engines etc. This kind of assault is exactly what Sauron expects from someone who just claimed the ring for themselves and what he is prepared for. Gandalf stresses that the quest relies on secrecy and stealth. If the eagles going to war would wreck middle earth, wouldn’t it have happened during the battle of the five armies? Or at the battle of the black gate?

The highest praise I have ever received, but no lol.

Doesn’t literally EVERY elf live until the end of the world? Like their body may be slain but their spirit just returns to Aman to chill in the Halls of Mandos with all the other ‘dead’ elves until Iluvatar summons them to fight in the final battle. Even then you get Glorfindel just too Chadly to stay down, he walks right out of the halls with a blessing and sails back to middle earth to terrify nazgul. Not every elf was born in Cuivenen and exists for the entire duration of Ardas history, but every elf sticks around in some form or another until all creation is destroyed and remade. That’s why elves choosing to be mortal is such a big deal, they actually die. Their soul isn’t returned to their family members in Aman to catch up, they go wherever men go. Didnt Feanors mother’s (Idril?) soul get so damaged by (implied) rape that she was set apart in the halls? She died and still went to the halls but was basically catatonic forever. She still ‘lived’ in Aman until the Dagor Dagorlach, even though her injuries were so terrible she probably longed for death. That sounds more like eternal torture than eternal life, but either way its forever, she didn’t get oblivion or whatever happens to men.

Let’s not do this here.

Gollum self justified murdering Deagol after the fact. Bilbo spends the rest of his corrupted days blaming Lobelia. Bagginses! Sackville Bagginses! We hates them! We hates them forever! They stole it from us! Our precious…spoons.

Lobelia is even seen as a folk hero by the people of Hobbiton after the scouring of the shire because she literally spat in Sarumans face.

I never thought of it this way, but it all fits. Lobelia did nothing wrong, Bilbo was influenced by the ring.

No crushing here either.

Sounds like an Oglaf quote.

In the books it’s very explicitly tobacco. However in the movies it was clearly meant to be psychoactive, if not actual cannabis. Either way sign me up for that organic Hobbit grown middle earth smoke.

I think this would have worked better as the paper perri meme personally.