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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

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  • I’m really sorry you’re having such a tough time. It’s clear you’ve been hit with some pretty hard losses. Losing people we’re close to can make us reevaluate our own lives, and that’s definitely a lot to process. It sounds like you’re dealing with a huge wave of feelings and that’s totally normal given what you’ve been through.

    One thing that could help you right now is to find some kind of support network. Maybe a group for people dealing with grief? You’d get the chance to chat with folks going through similar stuff and it’s always good to know you’re not alone. And don’t forget about the loved ones still around you. You mentioned how much you love your wife. She’s there for you. Spend some quality time together, talk about what you’re feeling.

    Another thing, don’t underestimate taking care of your physical health, mate. Exercise can do wonders for the mood. Anything that gets you moving - a good old-fashioned walk, cycling, yoga. And remember to eat right and get enough sleep.

    Have you ever tried mindfulness or meditation? Being in the moment can be really grounding and help keep anxiety in check. There are some great apps out there that can guide you through it, and yoga or deep breathing exercises are solid options too.

    Something that’s helped me before is writing stuff down, kind of like a journal. You could even write letters to your dad and friend. It might be therapeutic to get those thoughts and memories out of your head and onto paper.

    Remember, it’s okay to feel lost. It’s okay to grieve. And it’s okay to ask for help. You’re not on a clock to “get over it”. Healing takes time, so be kind to yourself. One step at a time, okay? We’re here for you.


  • Imagine that you’re locked in a room. You don’t know any Chinese, but you have a huge instruction book written in English that tells you exactly how to respond to Chinese writing. Someone outside the room slides you a piece of paper with Chinese writing on it. You can’t understand it, but you can look up the characters in your book and follow the instructions to write a response.

    You slide your response back out to the person waiting outside. From their perspective, it seems like you understand Chinese because you’re providing accurate responses, but actually, you don’t understand a word. You’re just following instructions in the book.