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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 12th, 2023

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  • “Hey hubby, I’m not sure why, but when you say “Hey come here” to me, I feel really stressed as I’m walking to you not knowing whether it’s a good ‘come here’ or a bad ‘come here’. Can we workshop a way to communicate that doesn’t feel so stressful to me? Could you say something like “hey, babe, something is happening wherever/whatever, come see this.”?”

    Tell him what you are feeling until he understands and wants to help you feel less stressed. Another option is to ask while you are walking, something simple like “good or bad?”


  • I have multiple bank accounts for me and my wife. My wages get direct deposited into my “monthly Bills” checking account. Then I have a spreadsheet that calculates how much needs to stay in there and how much needs to go to other accounts. I have a groceries account and a joint spending account, which is mostly for take-out food. Then what’s leftover gets split into personal spending money for each of us. I often cheat, and move money from one account to another, but before I do that, I always make sure I’m keeping track of regular monthly bills and other needs. It’s envelope budgeting, but without cash.

    One point I’d like to make is that I have a good job now, but most of my life I’ve lived in poverty. It’s hard or impossible to budget under such circumstances, and you just have to sorta do your best day to day. It wasn’t till I had reliable steady work that I’ve been able to do well budgeting.