I don’t know anything about its effect on fertility. I know people who have conceived while on SSRIs, but that’s purely anecdotal.

It’s going to be a judgement call on your part. SSRIs have been in use for long enough that I would expect there’s a big pool of data around fertility rates, even if it’s not had much analysis done on it. Also, rat models are useful but need to be understood in their context. One study in rats is not overwhelming evidence.

I have been on SSRIs for 20 years. For me they’re a good idea, but I’ve known others who have had a terrible time with them.

Sexual dysfunction is definitely a thing: how much of an issue that will be is going to be a personal decision on weighing up pros and cons. If your sex drive is low as a part of your depressive symptoms or you’re already experiencing anhedonia (inability to feel happiness/pleasure) or anorgasmia (inability to achieve orgasm) then going on SSRIs isn’t going to make that any worse. But for others the risk of missing sexual pleasure might be an unacceptable trade-off.

For anyone starting SSRIs I think it’s best to go slowly and keep in touch with your primary doctor throughout the process. There are a number of SSRIs available, and if one doesn’t work out you can try others, and hopefully land on one that works for you.

With all that said, SSRIs don’t work for everyone. It’s not unusual to feel weird or like things are getting worse when you first start them: it takes some time for the effects to settle. But if you’re having a really bad time on them, speak to your doctor about alternatives.

There are a lot of reasons, but I think this article does a good job of listing the main criticisms: https://www.themarysue.com/the-autism-speaks-controversy-explained/

But in a nutshell:

• They frame autism as a disease that needs curing
• None of their board members are autistic
• They spread fear and misinformation about autism
• As a charity, embarrassingly little of their money goes to actually doing anything for autistic people

I’d second this suggestion, I’ve used borg with rsync.net for the past 4 years and it’s been great.

I’m really sorry, I had colitis and it was awful. I really hope you find some relief from it.

I’m so sorry that happened to you. You didn’t deserve it: nobody does.

You’re doing your best.

This internet stranger is proud of you.

Gary Oldman is younger than Gary Numan.

Oh wow I never realised I was missing tornado facts from my life but I am genuinely loving learning about this.

I’ve had a lot of good experiences with ear plugs. I’ve used musician’s earplugs to help reduce noise without blocking it out entirely, and while I don’t have personal experience with Loop earplugs I’ve heard a lot of positive things about them.

Regarding seeming “rude” by wearing earplugs: I completely understand the concern here. All I can really offer is that you’re doing something to look after and care for yourself: if other people have a problem with it then its a “them” problem, not a “you” one. This is just a personal method I use to help me get over the worry: I think of myself as a child, and consider how validating it would feel to see an adult wearing hearing protection/whatever else to make them feel comfortable, and how it would help child-me feel more empowered about my own comfort and needs. So I do it for child-me, and if that also gives anyone else a boost or helps them not to feel so awkward then that’s just a win for everyone.

Well I don’t know if it helps, but the way I think of that is that if I didn’t stick to the times, I’d be letting me down.

Yeah, I understand that. I haven’t found an easy solution to that.

With hobbies, the thing I’ve found most useful is to set a structure of making that time for myself to do the thing I enjoy. Even if it’s just an hour or two, one evening a week. That way I’ve mentally created the space where I can say “that time is for me, to do my hobby”. Sticking with it, even if I think “I’d rather be with my favourite person at this time” helps add some balance (plus it’s a defence against that feeling of neglecting myself when I’m hyperfocused on someone else).

I do this, and can relate with how nerve-wracking it is. I’m afraid I haven’t hit on any techniques to stop it entirely, but for me I found things like mindfulness practices help with some of the runaway or obssessive thinking. Also, finding hobbies or activities I can do by myself has helped me feel less like I’m only happy when I’m with/talking to my “favourite person”.

It sounds like you’re getting a specific kind of headache, perhaps a migraine or a cluster headache, that can be debilitatingly painful. The fact that you throw up sounds a lot like it’s a migraine.

I can’t function with a migraine. I have to take pain medication, lie down in a dark room and hope I can sleep it off.

I find box breathing quite helpful: breathe in for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, breathe out for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, and then keep repeating this. I find the counting soothing, and eventually my mind slows down and I can start noticing the things around me.

Terry Pratchett. I’m grateful for the books he wrote and the impact he had on my life, but I feel we lost a champion for wit and empathy when he died.

👏