Ryan

Usually, I just smoke cannabis until my body goes “TIMBEEEEERRR!” ;-P

Seriously, though, routine plays a big role. I tend to lay down/wake-up at around the same time every day. About an hour before I go to bed, I put on a comfort TV show & brush my teeth. At this point, notifications are being silenced on my phone until the next morning, so less incentives to pick it up. While I’m watching the show, I intermittently close my eyes for a few minutes as a signal to my brain about the direction we’re heading, helps keep the peanut gallery in my head from getting chatty right as I’m laying down.

White noise while I sleep is required, I need something constant that covers-up the incidental noises. Otherwise, I pop awake when someone runs the faucet or what-have-you.

That’s what I’ve figured out works for me, YMMV.

Yeah, given the choice, I’d rather avoid the phone all together. Unless it’s close friends/family, I have to script what I’m going to say to get through it. I don’t have the same reaction to video calls, interesting enough…

A bit obscure, but Jeremy Goodwin on Sports Night (which should’ve been on for more than two seasons). His mannerisms, difficulty picking-up on non-verbal cues, deep interest on nerdy topics, and lack of confidence in navigating career progression…it’s (almost) creepy how closely we mirror each other.

Having not read the article (I know, breaking Rule #__ of The Internet ;-P)…

It doesn’t surprise me that some autists are drawn to doing stand-up. Having seen the documentary “Misery Loves Comedy,” comedians often use stand-up as a way of processing chronic mental health issues or other forms of divergence.

I could never do it myself, I have to stim like crazy just to (barely) make it through a phone/video call, without the pressure of actually being funny…not to mention that anytime I say something that I think is funny, I’m often the only person that actually laughs. lol

Four times? Pfffft…amateur 😜 /s (says the Gentoo user lol)

You’re rolling the dice either way. I can see the relatability being potentially higher with another autist, but there’s also the possibility that your stim is their meltdown trigger (or the other way around). Honestly, it’s just a matter of finding someone that complements you & appreciates your quirks, regardless of whether they’re NT or ND.

I used to use Joplin, I liked that it integrated with my Nextcloud, and the markdown format. However, the way that it handles the markdown files was too black-boxey to me, with the way it split them up in a weird scheme.

Now I use Ghostwriter with straight markdown files inside my Nextcloud folder. So I still get the syncing functionality, but a more flexible setup that doesn’t require a specific app to access all of my notes.

I really like the simple design that separates the results into docs/blogs/magazines. Obviously, the results reflect the current state, but I appreciate your approach in both the design & sourcing the search results. I think there’s a lot of potential for this to be a regular part of my toolbox, hopefully this takes off!

Nextcloud has been instrumental for me to manage stuff in my life. I self-host it (many VPS’s offer it as a one-click install), and it’s how I collaborate w/my friends/family. I also use Appflowy, which is similar to Notion, I mostly use its kanban board functionality.

The biggest one for me was difficulty getting jobs. I’ve lost count how many times my parents had to deal with me venting frustrations at falling short in the interview phase.

I can’t “read between the lines.” Like at all. If it’s not spelled-out to me in nearly granular detail, it gets lost in translation. This has definitely contributed to my romantic difficulties.

The only other thing that comes to mind is random social interactions that just turned really awkward because I don’t really have that much of a “socially appropriate” compass. lol That happened more often when I was younger.

Yeah, I’ve been using dark mode for everything for at least 2 years. I also use night shift to adjust the screen to a warmer color temp. I’ve dealt with chronic migraines for years, and light was a big trigger.

Cars & I don’t get along…at all. I started learning to drive when I was 15, couldn’t get my license until I was almost 20 because of repeated test failures.

Every single car I’ve owned died from either a major accident (most likely due to sensory overwhelm), or mechanical neglect. The last time I stepped behind the wheel of a car was at least 8 years ago. I’ve been using mostly public transit & occasionally Lyft/Uber.

I don’t regret my decision to give-up driving, the amount of anxiety & what-not has dropped tremendously. You could liquidate & offer me all of Elon Musk’s & Jeff Bezos’ assets, and it would not be enough to get me to drive again.

Rotate left & right on my desk chair Pacing around my living room puffing on my nicotine vape & talking to myself Stroking my walrus mustace (I blame Jamie Hyneman lol)

[YOINK!]

Definitely adding to my own cheatsheet that I manually created with info from the various git tutorials I’ve read/watched. Very nice to have a visual representation.

Thank you!

Without reading any of the comments, I’ll share this…

Personally, I use “I’m autistic,” not “I have autism.” It’s so ingrained in how I’ve experienced & interacted with the world. There is literally no aspect of my personality, emotional processing, etc. that hasn’t been significantly touched by it in some way. However, I can see how others may not have that same relationship, and a presumption of “autistic” can be problematic to those that prefer “have autism.”

As with anything, always ask what the other person prefers, and kindness goes a long way.

I’m interested to see what others wrote on the subject. :-)

I’m not a fan of either extreme, absolutely love Spring & Autumn. I wouldn’t say that Summer is a struggle for me, but I definitely see how it can be a slog for some people.

I never understood the fascination with the beach, though…it’s where dirt meets water. [insert “WTF!?” face]

I have a bath-tub & an imagination, I’m good…

Through my public meltdowns in years past, my friends & family have learned to accommodate my people-ing issues, but yeah, that learning curve was rough.

Yeah, it’s never a cut-n-dry deal.

I didn’t research autism for myself until my late 30’s. My thinking for many years was “I’m fine, it’s everyone else that’s weird,” so I totally get the thought process of autistic traits not applying to her struggles.

It’s never easy cutting someone that you care about out of your life, but letting them drag you down with them isn’t healthy, either. This is why you don’t jump into the water to help someone that’s drowning.

Regardless of the path you choose, you have friends here. :-)

First off, I’m sorry that this happened to you.

If it were me, I’d drop that " “friend” " (extra quotes added for emphasis) like a boulder off a cliff. People that are actually friends listen & make amends when told their words caused pain & invalidation.

If it were me (I’m not familiar with your life situation outside of this post), I wouldn’t contact her in any way/shape/form, and the only words I would say if she contacted me would be:

“Actions have consequences,” and walk away.

I know that some of what I’ve wrote may come across as harsh & nuclear, but I have no patience for people that do this. Life is too short to keep people like around.

In spite of the negativity & pain being spewed out of our screens, there are plenty of people that do care & empathize.

Yeah, I haven’t been to a bar/pub in about 20 years. People eventually stopped inviting me, because I would just be super-glued to the 1~2 people I actually knew to limit sensory stuff and (often embarrassing) social interactions.

Either that, or I’d be hanging-out in the darkest corner closest to the exit, and invariably, someone would ask if I wanted to dance.

. … …

Yeah, I never understood why, either…lol

I would laugh out loud and snidely ask “Seriously!? You see where I’m sitting…oh yeah, I’m just RARING to ‘get jiggy wit it’!” (it was the early 2000’s lol)

This all took place MANY years before I knew that I’m autistic.

This didn’t come to mind when I wrote my comment, but there’s also a “workflow friction” element. Most VPS providers have 1-click installs for the majority of the apps that I want/need to run, and I’m more of a developer than a sys admin. So I don’t really get anything out of figuring out how to do it, it just becomes another headache-inducing barrier to implement the stuff I need.