For autistic people, “masking” means consciously changing their behavior to blend in with neurotypical people. As an autistic, I can assure you that masking is exhausting.
For autistic people, “masking” means consciously changing their behavior to blend in with neurotypical people. As an autistic, I can assure you that masking is exhausting.
Sorry, I got a kick out of your username and was trying to riff on it. Clearly I failed miserably. Comment deleted!
You must be AI because you’re wrong. The east-west highways are indeed even numbers, but they start with Rte. 10 in the south and end with Rte. 90 in the north. Similarly, the north-south interstates start with Rte. 5 going through California and end with Rte. 95 going up the east coast to Maine (aka “God’s country”). Source. Also, I live in New England and know what my local interstates are.
His initial response was basically, “I married you, no matter how you are described!” He started reading up on autism though, and a couple of days later, he said very seriously that he had heard that many autists don’t like to be touched much, and since his “love language” is pats and cuddles and hugs, he wasn’t sure if he could handle that well. I replied that since we have been happily married for 38 years and have had three children, that I don’t think our snuggling habits are going to suddenly change. And they haven’t!
Thanks for the update. I hope you manage to get out of the U.S. eventually. I feel this place is going down fast.
Good luck to you! I am impressed with your resilience. Hang in there.
I’ve been thinking about telling my parents/siblings of my diagnosis, but haven’t for fear they’ll suddenly think of me as “other”, “subhuman”. Happily, my husband knows and supports me utterly.
I wish I knew you irl, and could help. How old are you?
I think your instincts are correct; you shouldn’t go to this meeting; it will just cause the clerk to resent you every time he sees you. I work at a school, and just went through some mandatory anti-bullying training. It said the teacher SHOULD NOT call out the bully publicly, or force the bully to apologize, or insist that the victim accept an apology. All these things just aggravate the situation. Quietly putting the bully into counseling, and separating the bully from victim is the recommended procedure. That is not possible at a coffee shop! Maybe, if you are willing, the next time you go in you could just behave as if nothing had happened. I’ll admit that I would find another coffee place.
hug
What was his fuckup? I’m ool.
I was diagnosed just this summer, at 60. BeautifulMind says everything that I wanted to, but better. I am learning to unmask among family/friends and am finding it leaves me so much extra energy to do things I WANT to do.
That last point! It’s overwhelmed my entire life!
Don’t be scared! Knowing yourself allows you to help yourself.
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This summer I found out I’m autistic. I’m 60 years old.
Let’s look forward, not back.
In other words, OP’s husband is useless and she should just throw the whole man out.
I got a diagnostician to assess, but not diagnose, me. Basically, I was interviewed and tested for several hours, until she felt she could come to a conclusion (yep, I’m ND). I did not bother getting a diagnostic report with all the associated family interviews etc. etc. because I do not need additional supports (other than therapy). The diagnostician gave me the names of therapists with experience working with autists. I feel I got the best of both worlds - inexpensive speedy assessment and the ability to tell doubting family that an independent expert says I am indeed autistic.
I’ve always felt that I am “from another planet”, both in social interactions and because I feel like an alien clumsily operating a meat puppet. I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and depression for decades, but treatments didn’t really help. My social-worker daughter suggested a couple of years ago that perhaps I am autistic, so I started looking into it. I scored as autistic on all the online self-tests. It made sense, explained a lot of my life events. For objective verification, a month ago I went to a diagnostician. Sure enough, I’m a highly-masking autistic person.
I’m 60. It’s such a relief to know that my struggles in life were not because I am a weak or lazy person. I don’t hate myself anymore; on the contrary, I am a bit proud of how much I accomplished in life considering I didn’t know “What the hell is wrong with” me (as my dad would frequently ask).
Unclejoke