the intended tone is clearer to me this morning. look, i’m part of a niche fashion community and other people can get very weird about it. i think i was responding with my frustration toward multiple comments + my own experiences.
the intended tone is clearer to me this morning. look, i’m part of a niche fashion community and other people can get very weird about it. i think i was responding with my frustration toward multiple comments + my own experiences.
he’s in a long-time relationship with another man. my guess is his “proposals” run the gamut (and i expect a majority are made in jest).
join a fashion hobbyist community. there are, in fact, many groups for people who want to dress up. some people dress up quite a lot, and this guy is an example.
this whole thread hurts me. ugh
guy makes his own clothes, or at least that was the case originally.
i have big respect. let the man slay. you’re welcome to your wife-beaters, and others are welcome to their finery.
as someone in a position to offer professional diagnoses, here’s my perspective - diagnostic labels can be useful, and i view them mostly as tools. their utility to me might be to communicate to another professional a cluster of traits, behaviors, indicators i’m seeing in short-hand. it might be helpful in determining which approaches could bring relief.
it can also be helpful in validating an individual’s subjective experiences, like “oh, everything is hard right now because i am dealing with depression, i’m not actually a worthless piece of shit.'” it’s also helpful to me when someone shares a self-diagnosis - i can explore what they think that means, and sometimes they’re right on the money. sometimes it means “i don’t feel i am coping effectively.”
sometimes they’re not right, but the label they have adopted can offer hints as to what’s not working. a word like autism can mean “i have a hard time connecting to others or communicating,” and maybe a another label is more appropriate or maybe the issue is their social environment.
some diagnostic labels can be verified objectively and scientifically, but in practice many are based on self-report/informant-report/observation and best fit. the fact is that diagnosis is often as much art as science when it comes to mental health, and the best diagnosis is the one that leads to improved well-being.
of course, some folks don’t like labels at all. “i’m just myself.” if they are generally happy, healthy, and functioning well, i don’t mind that either.
tldr - diagnostic labels are helpful tools that can be useful in a variety of ways.
caveat - diagnostic labels can be dangerous when they interfere with well-being or efforts toward well-being, or when they are used to harm, control, or oppress.
throughout reading this thread, what echoes in my mind over and over is this - “the perfect is the enemy of the good.” and honestly, right now i’m defining “good” as “not-fascism,” “not-Trump,” “not the man who will burn it all down as quickly as possible.”
yes, i’m hiding from the next bullet. i’m hiding myself, my family, my friends, my co-workers and clients. my choices are the man with the loaded gun who has TOLD us what to expect, and any other possible alternative.
for now, i happen to think this is GOOD ENOUGH, and those who would sacrifice that on principle have not really imagined what is very likely to happen next. i’m sorry i can’t save the people of Gaza, but i can try to save those i know and love.
i mean, i hear you on choosing your end, but i have known some folks who enjoyed later life. my mom died suddenly a couple years ago, and she confessed to me over the last couple years that she was ready to go when her time came. that said, i think she was happier in her early 70’s than i had ever known her to be otherwise. and my family certainly doesn’t have money to smooth the way.
i think she just decided to make the most of it, made an effort to enjoy her community and stayed super active. i’m hoping i will handle aging as well as she did.
if i could parent my oldest kid again, i would let him struggle more and fail more.
the inevitable rude awakening was ROUGH.
edit - grammar
the only time i ever lost a paper/document (at 13, for social studies), was on an apple IIc. then i rewrote it. i cried A LOT.
it has never happened since, and writing is a significant part of my job. i learned the hard way.
amazingly, chemistry has given us the ability to have a better quality of life, even when our brains work differently.
when she’s 25 and benefitting from meds, she may resent it if this was not an option you explored with her.
i can’t give you a source for “most people,” but personally my out-of-pocket is $6k for myself, $12k for my family. about the only thing covered before that number is met is yearly physicals. i pay about $500 a month for this (after my employer’s contribution). dental separate, no vision.
somewhere online is a copy of a pamphlet that was made available to resistance folks during ww2, full of similar fun facts.
edit - the simple sabotage field manual
i get the feeling you didn’t really read what i wrote. but i will assume you were speaking generally and enthusiastically.
shin megami tensei III nocturne. the lack of useful information in combat compared to what’s available in other smt/persona games i have played is frustrating (strange journey, smtv, p4, pq, p5)!
“That doesn’t take anything away from the art.”
i dunno, it looks pretty soulless to me.
maybe it’s not a lie if you have grown and changed into a new version of yourself.
i mean, he may very well not have paid. this is the guy who refused to pay rent on headquarters, and two different people quit/were fired because they wouldn’t just… not pay rent on his orders.
has he paid rent since? as far as i can tell, he just gets away with this shit. edit - looks like an eviction notice was issued this summer, so i’m guess he still hasn’t paid.
the only problem i had when i was driving a small car (i drive a mid-size car now) was my sense of vulnerability when surrounded by stupid massive lifted trucks bearing down on me. it felt really unsafe. and i live in stupid-giant-truck land, they’re not an anomaly here.
eta - plus giant truck owners seem to get off on being scary aggressive drivers.
xits omg, i didn’t know people were calling them this now!
i posted about having this experience on reddit a year or two ago and people were pissed? but yeah, empty shelves and barely any employees. it sucks, because i used to enjoy going there to see what’s new.