Web developer, heavier on the front-end side.
I think it’s difficult because companies know they can hire someone with 2 years of experience to do similar work.
In his experience a lot of the job postings are not real or have hundreds and hundreds of applicants and multiple rounds of interviews. I’m not quite sure how to help and I’m trying to be patient and go easy on him. It shouldn’t be this hard.
Yeah my husband got laid off in the tech sector after 10+ years at a company and has been looking for a job every day since January. He’d love to get off his ass and get working.
I don’t put in effort to the extent that it bothers me about it. If it’s convenient sure. If not oh well next time.
One of our friends used to get all bent out of shape because she would prepare all of this food for a party and no one would eat it. I was like girl, stop preparing food then if it’s making you upset. If people get hungry we’ll order pizza.
Sometimes the things you think people will be into are not the things people want to do.
Scale back. Neuroboring people don’t put as much effort into coworkers and social connections as much as I think ADHD brains do because I don’t think they think about it that hard. I learned this when I invited coworkers to my wedding and 2 showed up for like an hour - and I’m pretty sure one of them dragged the other.
People with kids are super flaky too.
I’m just saying yeah you aren’t the priority to these people. Find people who will make you the priority. Keep looking. These connections happen slowly and change over time.
It sounds like you might not know the people who bailed enough to invest that much emotionally into them.
If you thought you did and now you’re not sure then it sounds like you can now have some clarity that they might not be as close to you as you feel to them. Time to pause and question why you’re putting emotional energy into people who aren’t invested.
I’ve been working on this a lot myself. I kind of realized that I was investing a lot of time and energy into friends who live a 5 hour drive away and it’s really convenient for them to have me always drive there. On the flip side none of them have ever made the drive to come visit me. So instead of rearranging my whole life to make a weekend work with them and expending great energy and effort to do so, I started bowing out more often. It’s been better for my peace. Love my friends but I don’t have to run myself ragged visiting all the time because they certainly aren’t doing that.
I put together a huge birthday party for my sister including this whole group. My birthday came around? No one did anything for me and they were all busy, even my sister. That’s fine, it’s telling me I don’t need to make the effort in the future.
Telesat is a Canadian company. The benefit extends beyond just the satellite internet service. We get a domestic provider of this service so we don’t have to rely on Elon and his ketamine delusions and ties to Russia. This will also create Canadian jobs and boost our economy.
If you’re planning on sinking much money, time, and effort into an event it’s best to do formal invitations with RRSPs.
It’s really hard to organize something for a lot of people to participate in and requires a lot of communication and reminders.
I think you discovered who your true close friends are and now you can scale back and not let the rest of them (the bailers) in on your cool life. Something I’ve had to deal with but is better in the long run.
I read my (dementia/alzheimers) mother’s journals and they were full of “she’s just so angry” and “I don’t understand why her room is so messy” and “She’s lazy and won’t help with the family business, but I would have been happy to as a teenager.”
I’m like damn mom you were never given language to actually understand me.
Even my sister to this day goes: “Well now that you know you have it you can just come up with strategies to overcome it.” 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
I wish they would stop this:
ADHD is one of the most common neurodevelopmental disorders affecting children and young adults, with about 10% of young people between the ages of 3 and 17 diagnosed with the condition.
What about women and inattentives who are usually diagnosed way into adulthood???
This makes it sound curable, temporary or like it only impacts young people.
I don’t know what that is supposed to mean. In the Canadian medical system consent to save an unconscious person’s life is pretty automatic.
We’re talking about consent to opt in to be born, which is completely different.
Yeah I just don’t think having a kid under the premise “well you can kill yourself later” is a really great argument. And they’re not really letting us kill ourselves humanely anyway - Medical Assistance in Dying laws are still incredibly restrictive and they actively prosecute people who sell alternatives.
Just because I find joy in life I can’t force that on other people. We all have different perspectives.
I look at it like joy is not guaranteed. The only thing that is guaranteed through life is suffering and death.
I don’t need to have kids for survival and we have too many people already. Why guarantee suffering in another person.
Oh my heavens no it’s not the only reason not to have kids and it’s not even factor #1 for me as a reason to not. Just one factor among many.
But this part of the thread started with a claim, as I understood it, that population growth wasn’t the problem - that the problem was instead capitalistic exploitation.
I’m just pointing out that limiting one could solve the other. Because I don’t think the oligarchs who rule the world will ever let us protest/unrest in a meaningful way again. People are kept just comfortable enough with fast food, Starbucks, entertainment, etc and just tired enough from selling labour that the vast majority of people wouldn’t care or engage with any sort of meaningful reform to the system.
We can’t even get people to engage in not electing King Fascist (US) and far-right populist Milhouse (Canada). For what reason??? Our other alternatives are middling, one is too old and in Canada I think they’re just tired of the tone and the tone deafness of our current guy. Seems like pretty lame excuses peddled by media that is owned by the very same oligarchs who stand to benefit the most from far right governments. The recent news in the UK and France makes it sting a little less, I guess.
How bad are we prepared to let things get? It’s gonna have to get pretty ugly at a local level for any meaningful change to happen.
I’m being a little snide but yeah supply and demand right? If the population reduces it impacts the demand for products and also the supply of workers.
Capitalists aren’t going to stop ruining the earth out of the goodness of their hearts or anything.
More like yes those are the problems and children are not the answer to those problems.
The capitalists would extract less if they had fewer workers and not as many people to sell stuff to.
So the answer boils down to kill yourself when you turn 18 bud? That seems like incredibly callous and unnecessary pain for all involved.
Consent 101: If you’re unsure about whether or not someone would consent, the answer is no. And since we can’t ask the unborn, people who don’t want kids assume the answer is no.
I’d say you can find things that make life worth living if you’re already here. But if someone’s not “here”, why drag someone you’re supposed to love the most into this mess when we can’t even properly look after the children that are already here.
I’m not anti-child - I’d consider adopting if it didn’t cost like $20k. I’m anti-new child for myself, and yeah I get sad when I see other people have kids, especially now. It’s like having another kid when you lived in the middle of the dust bowl and people were actively dying from starvation and the dust. Probably not the best time to have kids, similar to now. They just couldn’t easily make the choice to not have kids back then.
There are tons of arguments in favour of having kids like what if they cure cancer etc.
However, for myself, I truly believe there will be an ecological collapse due to climate change if not during my lifetime, in the immediate next generation. And we’re still not doing enough. I don’t want to flee natural disasters with a child in tow. One of best things you can do for the climate is not have kids. I’m privileged enough to make that choice so I did, but it’s not my only reason. You got late stage capitalism and the accelerating concentration of resources with the hyper wealthy, war / nuclear war, and the fact that pregnancy is one of most risky things I can medically do. Social media, the toxic drug supply, the rise of fascism (again), microplastics in literally fucking everything. I don’t even think we’ll have social healthcare or social security in Canada by the time I die because they’re gutting our programs so badly.
I get that people have a strong reaction to their choices being called immoral. Morality looks different for everyone. However, the counterargument of “Well I have children and they’re great and bring me so much joy etc” falls on deaf ears, because it truly does not sound like joy to me and when I say I am anti-child for myself I am telling you that. It’s like trying to convince someone skydiving is the greatest thing - some people love it, but not my cup of tea. It is so foreign to me that whenever I hear parents say this it feels like they are trying to convince themselves that they made the right choice.
There’s a good HBO series about this called 100 Foot Wave.
I’d bet money that PP also is unsure as to whether he can actually get the clearance or doesn’t want to disclose what is required to get the clearance. At that level you need to disclose your assets and liabilities, previous convictions/criminal charges if any and go through a security interview. It makes me wonder what he is hiding financially or otherwise. Do we want a PM that can’t even get a high level clearance ffs?
Thanks for this - I’ll try to forward it on in a gentle way.