This suggests that this has happened often enough that they felt it necessary to specify this.

They use us to feed them!

Glory in the front, party in the back

This trilogy was almost a single 15 minute movie.

Gotcha. Apple being a pain in the ass again.

Doesn’t Steam run on Macs? I am not a gamer (but have been wanting to start playing some stuff) and I genuinely have no idea.

I wake up at 5 a lot of the time. My body just wants to be awake early nowadays. I wish I could sleep in 😔

So this is basically the equivalent of the sorting hat from Harry Potter.

My biggest claim to fame is that I share a birthday with Captain Kirk.

Does she have a chew toy named Tuvix?

Out of curiosity, I looked this up:

“Richard Wertheim (1983) - A tennis official who died after being struck in the groin by a tennis ball during a match. He fell backward, hit his head on the court, and suffered a fatal brain injury.”

Definitely would rather die instantly.

Unless she kills you before you can score the point.

A guy goes to the doctor and tells the doctor he hasn’t been feeling well - tired, losing weight, etc. The doctor runs a few tests, then tells the guy to come back the next day with a banana and two cookies. The guy is confused, but tells the doctor he’ll do so.

The next day he arrives at the doctor’s office with a banana and two cookies. The doctor has him take off his pants and bend over, and then he inserts the banana and two cookies up the guy’s ass. He asks the guy to come back the next day with a banana and two cookies.

This repeats every day for almost a week. The guy arrives with a banana and two cookies, and the doctor inserts them up the guy’s ass. Just as the guy is about to lose it, the doctor asks him to come back the next day with a banana and a hammer. The guy is obviously concerned, but the doctor asks him to trust him.

The guy comes back to the doctor’s office the next day with the banana and a hammer. He pulls down his pants, bends over, and the doctor inserts the banana into his ass and stands there with the hammer. They wait for some time and the guy asks the doctor what’s going on, but the doctor just tells him to wait.

Suddenly, a tape worm pops his head out of the guy’s ass and says, “HEY! Where’s my two cookies??”

He’s all hair. Magnificent hair. Damn him.

I have oatmeal, an apple, and some kind of protein almost every morning. Just feels nice.

I don’t think this guy was ever a junior dumbass. I think he’s always been a senior dumbass.

Well, things will stop being tough.

So glad I didn’t buy a Jeep.

My phone autocorrects normal words to curse words.

I hope he doesn’t catch his scrotum on the top of it.