While it doesn’t work as well with or as your joke, the ATF is actually now the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives. So we need to add the E as well and we can spell FACET, which is less fun. Or use M for Marijuana and spell FMEAT.
The thing is, if the place you’re getting your information from doesn’t list it’s sources, you can’t trust it. Whenever I’m researching a thing on the internet and I find an article or a paper, I don’t just stop there, I check where they got their info, then I find that source and read it. I follow it all the way back until I find the primary source.
Like the other day I was writing a paper about a particular court case. In the opinions, as in most cases, they use precedent and cite prior cases. So I found the other cases that referred to the thing I was writing about, and it turns out they were also just using prior cases. I had to go 6 deep before I found them referencing the actual constitution for one of them. On another I found it interesting that the most recent use case was so far removed from what the original one was about and it was could probably be questionable to even use it as precedent if they had used the original instead of another case.
Anyway, the point is, always check sources. If anyone says anything on the internet, assume it’s just their opinion until you check and follow the sources…
There’s a lot of really good pieces of advice here, so I don’t have a tone to add. But there’s a few things that could help and possibly be prepared for.
Be prepared for:
Maybe having to try different meds before you find the right one. There’s stim and non-stim, and the individuals meds in each category can vary in their effects, so be sure to stick with it while finding the right one. It’s definitely worth it.
Medication is amazing. It’s a game-changer. But it also doesn’t fix it. It helps with the dopamine and can help with energy and motivation, but a lot of the other issues are still there. I definitely still really struggle with switching tasks that require my brain to change states. That’s why you have to still lean on the tools you develop outside of meds to make your day-to-day easier. Someone posted the How to ADHD Youtube channel. I love her channel and she offers a lot of advice for developing these tools.
Some days, even with medication, it’s just not there. I’m on a stimulant, so when I’m short on sleep, it doesn’t put me in peak performance that day. It gives me the energy to be normal, but I’m not high-functioning. And some days I sleep fine but I’m still not there and nothing gets done, and that’s fine. It’s okay to just have a day where the thing you do is recharge and do some self-care if you can afford the time.
If you end up on Adderall, be warned it is sometimes difficult to get. Don’t tell your doctor this, but any time you have a day where you can skip a dose because nothing needs to be done, do it and save that pill. When you get new ones, rotate in the saved ones and put aside the same number of the new ones and try to have an emergency stock for the potential time when you have to wait for your meds. This only works for Stimulants and I do not recommend telling your doctor Non-stimulants require you to take it every day to work, but they’re also less likely to be in a shortage. Stimulants just work when they’re in your system, so skipping a dose won’t lose you any progress. Plus, Stims aren’t great for you long term and you’ll need to take breaks to reset your tolerance, so skipping doses can prolong their efficacy.
Things that could help:
And that’s my best advice. Breaking down every part of what needs to be done, like was also stated here. But also, categorize those into things you need a good brain day for and things that you can just type out, or do without having to engage your brain. Maybe you can’t code, but can you make plans for what you need to code? Write it out and have a plan in place for when your brain kicks in. Then, when it’s time to do it, there’s less in your way and you can probably do more.
Also, lean into whatever your brain is willing to do at that time. I’m not always going to be in a space to really clean my house, so when I’m in that head-space, I go all out and clean like a motherfucker. If my brain ticks over and I’m in a writing space, I write all the things and get ahead on my work.
Also, in planning, I find it helps to use a highlighter to color-code them (I keep them written down in multiple places, and on a digital calendar). Pink for most important or urgent, yellow for standard urgency and blue for no real deadline, but I do need it done. And put due-dates next to all of them. On my daily or weekly to-do list I write them out in order of due-dates so I can just do the one closest to the top that fits how I’m able to work.
Most importantly, I want to stress how important it is to find habits that work for you and keep it up after you get medicated. Most of the tools I use I developed over years of struggle before getting a diagnosis, and without them, even the meds wouldn’t be enough.
And that Youtube channel is genuinely great. She works hard to find the best information according to science and also recognizes that the same things don’t work for everyone (unlike so many ADHD self-help stuff out there) so she doesn’t offer THIS ONE TRICK TO FIX YOUR ADHD!!! She offers a variety of tools that have been shown to help so you can find the one(s) that help you.
Do you have a degree of social anxiety? Over the years I've noticed that multiple sources of sensory input get overwhelming when I'm stressed. If I feel in control and "calm" I can just mentally filter it all as a single background noise but if my anxiety is real bad or I'm upset about something else I feel like I'm being assaulted from all sides.
If I'm at a bar with friends I'm comfortable with and we're relaxed and chatting then I'm fine. The music and myriad of conversations all just become a single background noise. Drinking probably helps.
If I'm struggling to accomplish some task and it's really getting to me, any noise from multiple sources puts me on edge and I'll do pretty much anything to stop it.
And if it's not an anxiety thing for you, it might just be that it's from multiple sources. Sensory overload isn't usually a physical thing, it's how our brain interprets it, which means our state of mind or even our perception matters. The music you listen to you know is coming from one place: your headphones/speakers. You know it's meant to work together so your brain can file that away as a single thing to comprehend. A noisy party with 20 different conversation that you know are all separate? Your brain is trying to view them all separately and ADHD can make you want to interpret all of them.
I think that last bit is most likely and could just be the basic of what your brain is doing. But for me personally, stress triggers my brains inability to filter all background noise as a single "noise" because it's on high alert fight-or-flight mode and on the lookout for dangers so it's taking everything in that it can to locate the danger.
I think something like that coffitivity thing could help you acclimatize you to it if you're looking to change your reaction. Train your brain to view that kind of noise as a singular source and not 100 different sources. And with the internet being what it is, there's almost definitely something out there that will imitate whatever environment you're wanting to adjust to.
"anti" also doesn't mean opposite, it means against. The roots of the word, tracing back to the Greek, means against. As it does in French and it's Sanskrit version. All forms of it mean opposed to. This is why language is important and some checks should be there to counter the "language is malleable" argument that people use as an excuse to not learn how to use words correctly. The idea that anti means opposite has been around as long as I can remember, and definitely longer than that, but it drastically changes the meaning of words.
As a wage slave, even spelled out like that it doesn’t sound great to me. I don’t care about how impressive the company is beyond it’s ability to pay me. “Hey, you did a good job of making my company look good enough to hire people better than you.” I’m not sure exactly how to put my discomfort with it into words, but being told I did a good job of improving the company’s image just feels like a pat on the head and a “good boy.” My goal here isn’t to help you, it’s to get you to give me money. Compliment me with a raise, not telling me how much more money you’re making because of me. Bragging to employees about quarterly profits only actually cheers up the ones who drink the company koolaid at every job they ever work at. For the rest of us it means that we won’t be out of a job because the company went under. I got an extra 2 hundred dollars from my salary this year from that and the guy announcing it got a hundred thousand dollar bonus. Great.
I’ve worked in loss leader departments before and have always liked it, but my salary wasn’t dependent on tips so… But getting a job in a part of a business where your department itself doesn’t bring in money, but it’s existence brings in more money for the company just by existing can be great short term. You don’t have to worry about KPIs or much more than just doing a good job. Then, inevitably, the company gets bought, or someone new comes in high up who only wants to see numbers go higher and can’t see the forest for the trees. They see an department losing money and they don’t believe the statistics around loss leaders, so they scrap it or make efficiency more important, which means the department can’t focus on doing a good job anymore and it becomes just like every other job, except it’s functionally impossible for that department to make money.
Back when I cooked I worked in a string of grocery stores who would have fresh prepared food available. They’re meant to run at a loss. Hot fresh meals in a grocery store just isn’t going to break even. People aren’t going to wait like at a restaurant so food always has be be prepared and ready to go pretty quickly. It’s a pretty good gig. You get to cook a variety of things as the menu changes all the time, and customers tend to be pretty appreciative there. It felt a lot like catering, but with less stress and more appreciation. But an exec always ruined it at every place I worked. I’d hop around a lot since, for some reason, there were multiple grocery brands in the area that did it. Eventually I just left the whole industry.
I know this was a joke, but it’s actually them showing you that they trust you enough to show you their most vulnerable spot. Cats can snuggle against you or sleep in your lap if they like you, but they get something out of that exchange. Showing their belly is purely letting you know you’re trusted. It’s like a hug.
One could argue that domestic cats proliferation throughout the world is from human action as well. Their natural habitat certainly wasn’t the south of Wales before we stepped in and took them all over the world for them to evolve into different types. My understanding is that most house cats evolved from desert dwelling cats.
I’m not familiar with how it works in France, but I’m just brainstorming plans to avoid it in the future. Are they able to send it directly to a pharmacy and not give the scrip directly to you? If so, is it also possible to try to get in a few days early for an appointment for your check-in and they can just send it off on time? In the States I only have to do a mandatory check-in once a year with a doc and visit a nurse practitioner every 2 months and she just has it scheduled to send the new prescription every 30 days. It is more convenient, but I have to trust that they don’t forget and I have to panic call their office.
I do the same thing. I also get 2/day and do my best to time it and get as much as I can before the first is out of my system so I can save the 2nd. My very first refill was late due to a mix-up and I was 5 days without with a lot to do in my life. Since then I’ve been saving whenever I can to have a fallback stockpile.
Your mentioning fried eggs reminds me of a time I had a coworker who was telling me about the breakfast he made for his kid every weekend: fried pork roll slices and scrambled eggs. I asked why not fried eggs since it would probably be better with that meal. He said he could never get through frying an egg without it breaking and just turning into scrambled eggs anyway so he’d given up years ago. So I gave him some tips I learned in culinary school. Make sure the oil is already hot, Crack the egg into a separate bowl ahead of time, and either use a small pan or tilt the pan to the egg and oil are in one “corner.” He came back the next day and he said it worked wonders for him and he’d been able to fry an egg for the first time in his life.
So maybe that sort of thing? Like, focus a lot on those tiny little tricks that aren’t necessarily in recipes or even required but make the job so much easier.
I think it’s definitely worth looking into. ADHD doesn’t have the stigma these days like it used to. More and more people are being diagnosed with it now, not because it’s over-diagnosed but because we know more about it than we ever have. 20 years ago when I was first diagnosed (and subsequently lapsed taking my meds until recently) it was seen almost entirely as a focus thing. Now we know it affects so much more. Poor executive function has an effect on both mood and our interactions and relationships with others. Impulse control can be an issue. I know the inability for my brain to easily switch tracks meant that I would get hung up on stuff that most people were able to just move on from easily. Since being medicated my mood is vastly improved. It’s not from the serotonin boost completely but more in the way that I don’t get stuck in a specific mindset that I can’t move on from.
And like I said, it’s super normal now. Social repercussions are almost nil and once you get your meds figured out, your day-to-day could only be improved. I still do all the things I used to, but now I’m able to find the motivation to get things done that I had been avoiding before. I clean more often and I don’t put things off.
I was diagnosed at 16, took a couple years to get my meds figured out and then around 20 stopped taking it for reasons I no longer remember. I’m around middle-age now and was talking to a coworker who got a diagnosis. I was telling them about my experiences with meds back in the day and we were talking about things to do to help. That’s when I realized that all of the coping mechanisms I’ve developed over the years to deal with depression and anxiety had a lot of overlap with ADHD coping mechanisms (planning everything out and waiting for a manic day to get everything done). So I went and got diagnosed again about a couple months ago. I did have an advantage in getting my meds set because I had already gone through that dance decades ago so we just skipped right to the Adderall that I ended up with back then. It was an amazing over-night change.
I say all this to say that I hope you don’t get discouraged if finding the right medication takes some time. The coworker I mentioned recently took a break from trying different meds because they got disheartened by the failures. I hope you stick with it. The results are definitely worth it. I used to have to wait until I had ample time to even sit down and plan out all my activities that needed to be done and often things that weren’t 100% necessary were just put off until I had a “good” day where I felt naturally productive. Then I’d knock them all out and get exhausted. Now I’m able to get things done before after and even during work (don’t tell my boss). I still plan things out and excessively, but it just makes me more productive. I used to be overwhelmed by the need to be productive but the inability to do so. Now I’m going back to school after 20 years and my life feels organized for the first time in my life. Stick with it. The work is worth it.
For me, the appetite suppression didn’t last beyond the first week on Adderall, so I’m not speaking from explicitly personal experience, but have you tried setting alarms to eat? Even just small snacks throughout the day? Like, medication has done wonders for me and has completely changed my life for the better, but it wasn’t a magic pill. I still use all of the coping mechanisms I developed throughout my life that helped deal with the problems of ADHD. Adderall gives me the energy and motivation to move and get things done but I still have to plan things. It sounds like planning to eat would be beneficial to you.
While I don’t deal with that particular side effect, I do still plan out my meals. Snacks included. During the weekend I pre-make and package up all meals and snacks I can so they’re ready in the fridge. If it can’t be fully cooked ahead of time I have it prepped up to the point of cooking so I just have to do that last step before eating.
ADHD requires work to live with, unfortunately. You’ve got to be actively involved in the process.
I assume that’s primarily from the over-abundance of plastic surgery in Korean celebrities that tends to genericize their features towards an ideal? I remember hearing about surgery being a huge thing years ago and I’m assuming it still is. They’re like, Stepford Wive’s-ing themselves visually and all end up looking generally the same when chasing attractiveness.
Fun semi-related story. I used to work in an open kitchen where a lot of the cooking staff would interact with the customers pretty regularly. Quite often me and two other men in the kitchen would get confused with one another. I gave a guy some marinating tips one week. He comes back in a few days later and waves me over to tell me how well it went. Except he didn’t wave me over, it was a coworker he thought was me. I’d have people bring up previous conversations when I’ve never seen them before. After the 3rd time that kind of thing happened, it clicked. The 3 of us who got confused with each other were just very generic young white guys. One of them wore glasses and I sometimes wore them, sometimes wore contacts. Who I got confused with changed on whether I wore glasses or not, but it happened constantly in the years I worked there. And it was always other white people getting us confused. Looking like a generic white guy is 100% a thing.
Before getting medicated, I had a multi-step process for getting those things done. On a typical day I’d struggle, but I would have good day/days where I was able to feel motivated and get things done. So I would plan ahead for these good days.
Break the task down into as small of tasks as possible. For taxes or making appointments, this usually also means having a lot of documents ready and if there’s a phone call, an outline of what I want to go over during the conversation. Maybe some research on what the expected thing would be like if it’s a new thing.
Don’t try doing all of that at once, back to back. Just do each part, one or two at a time in the days (or weeks if there’s time) leading up to my deadline. Get all the docs together in one place. Look them over to make sure they’re all there and I understand them. Organize them in order of need. All separate tasks for separate days.
Then, when I hit a good productive day, knocking it out is much less overwhelming and draining because the tedious work is done. It’s just the action of the task that remains. It’s worked for years. I still do it without realizing it often. I think it’s just a good plan of action in general for everyone to makes tasks manageable.
That’s where the discussion comes in. With an instructor to moderate and a class working together who will overall have grasped it. Those who didn’t pick it up reading learn by doing.
But personally, I don’t like the idea of kids doing schoolwork outside school hours. I went to a trade-school college and we would do trimesters with 9 weeks for a single class. Spent the whole day just in that class, six hours. First half learning theory then putting it into practice in the second half. By nine weeks, you’d know that subject pretty well. But that was complicated stuff, and honestly, probably didn’t even require 9 weeks. But it’s a good starting model. Fully immerse kids in a subject for weeks where they don’t have to mix in other subjects to muddy their forming brains. Homework won’t be needed and they’ll have a much better grasp on the subject at the end. You could do 6 classes for 6 weeks each a school year.
And I feel like early education kind of already does this. They typically will focus on a subject for weeks instead of trying to fit in 5 a day. It’s just the upper levels we’ve decided to shuffle kids around multiple times a day.
Not a hockey fan, is that because it’s too cheap or too expensive?