You are talking to us here, now. I know you do rock climbing and weight lifting. If you have friends, you talk to them too. It’s not different from that. You are doing it already. There’s not a formula.

What friends can do is tell their friends you are a great guy and introduce you to other people. That’s what networking is, the same way you network computers, you network human relationships, by connecting them.

I mean, you can’t just get fit and expect someone to come knocking on your door. If you are feeling good about your looks now, that’s an accomplishment you can be happy about, and should, but it doesn’t send out some secret signal that you are ready for a relationship. You have to talk to actual people. You can meet them out in the world or on an app, you can also tell any friends you have that you are looking to start dating, network. I think friends of friends and dating apps are the most usual ways of getting dates now. When I was young we just hung out in groups and some people always people ended up paired off, didn’t really date per se, but my kids don’t seem to do that as much.

So basically - now you are happy about your physical shape, you still have to reach out to people, that is the next step.

Octavia Butler

NK Jemison

They build worlds more around the changes in people, and explore living systems more than mechanical.

Abortion protection was proposed as a constitutional amendment because the backwards -ass gerrymandered legislature here is much more conservative than the population. A majority of us voted for freedom of choice even though the amendment on the ballot had bold text added by the governor, including the dubious claim that it would “increase the number of abortions performed in the state”. They only added these annotations to the two amendments DeSantis opposed.

I was born here, my kids were born here, I am progressive, my kids are progressive, all y’all dehumanizing us, why? We are just people, like you!

I sit on the porch with the bowl, it’s nice to see them walking around. It’s easier for both parties, and I can dress up too.

I think it’s because fewer houses are doing it, mostly. But I don’t understand skipping very decorated houses, and honestly wouldn’t leave out a bowl of candy here.

The sitting on the porch thing is traditional here now (my mom sat inside but I’m over 50 now and since being old enough to be on the treating side have always sat out with the candy and that’s more usual as far as I can tell) Though my kids always did go up and try if a light was on outside.

Maybe they are also a little more sensible too, lol - a princess last night looked in the bowl and said, nah there’s nothing I like, happy Halloween. My kids would have taken some anyway and traded it around, but it is always too much by the time they are done.

Overall I agree, they should yell TRICK OR TREAT but am glad nobody is, like egging your house if you don’t have a treat for them.

Yeah it’s not the changing, it’s the expectation. My mom told me one “women don’t have last names”, meaning there is no matrilineal naming convention here. So basically she didn’t care about changing hers because it was her dad’s name or her husband’s, but found it problematic. Why does “family name” follow the men like that, when the kids are born to the mothers?

Needlessly Patriarchal is a good way to put it.

So is it a red flag, then, that my husband did not take my last name? And if it’s a gay couple, which one is complaining?

A large majority of us born female (female-bodied) also do not have that shape either. In fact even those models probably don’t have that shape.

DO whatever makes you feel better is not bad advice. Some of these studies have overarching trends that I do believe - caffeine and Adderall are protective to your brain, a little bit of speed keeps the brain healthy.

Alcohol and Benadryl are risky over time, so a habit of downers is detrimental to the brain over time.

Logically this makes sense. I think to some extent it’s just metabolism/weight, staying lean is healthier all round but there does seem to be a pattern of results showing a habit of doing a little bit of stimulants is good for you.

It is kind of tough to make friends as an adult. My kids tease me that I have a husband and relatives and coworkers but not friends. That’s not quite true, I keep up with one former coworker by text and occasional visit, and a couple of coworkers are friends, like we go to concerts together, they come for Thanksgiving. But really, two “sticky” people in so many years and one of them is just really good at making friends, that’s not me, he collects people. I do have an enormous family though, and only so much bandwidth.

Are you lonely in fact, or just feel some sort of pressure to have a large group of friends? To me it sounds exhausting, I am happy with having a very small set. Friends who come from former lovers are real friends, I don’t think you need to qualify that. If you feel understimulated but not lonely, just saying yes to things and extending some offers works pretty well. 5 people is a good gathering as long as it’s what you were expecting, though I do think 30 would have been fun in a different way (we have a massive chaotic Thanksgiving here and I love it) and understand that’s disappointing.

I think we each have some limited capacity for close relationships, I really had only one close friend from middle school and one more from high school, and now a husband, my attention seems to be good for one close relationship only and I’m ok with it.

ETA: the one event I can reliably get coworkers to is a happy hour after work on a Friday. My house is near the office so we have had them here, I can even get them to invite their spouses and girlfriend/boyfriend/close friend to those. Partly because I make absolutely delicious drinks and they know that, but also the convenience.

Holy crap, I looked at Art Masters Jewelry and eew. They are all clunky overdone nigh unwearable, some of the black ones might be good for a dramatic goth look - they look like costume jewelry but are priced like real jewelry though . So ugly.

Perhaps this is why you don’t make children with your sister, who is also your aunt? The kid behind him, she is like a snake but the baby on the dads lap has no legs.

White kids are often blonde even if they won’t be as adults. All mine were at least for awhile, all have medium or dark brown hair now. All born with blue eyes too, but half changed to brown later. Not sure why, but it’s normal.

I have a large family, always wanted kids, but seriously do not understand people who need everyone else to do the same thing they do. Like, what the actual fuck? If someone doesn’t want kids how is that my business? It’s like they don’t have confidence in themselves and need the whole world to agree with them. Just live your life, it doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing.

That picture doesn’t make sense though, unless she had 3 sets of twins some of those kids would be older, and as the billboards here used to say “two years apart is baby smart”, it is easier on your body if you give yourself time to recover. Three sets of twins back to back, your womb would prolapse.

Obligatory FUCK TICKETMASTER!

As people have already noted, the $20-$25 shows were different than a modern arena show, I saw Soundgarden with Voivod for $25ish at a local outdoor small venue in the 1990s, and have seen other acts there recently for between $50-$75 (the Alabama Shakes, Cimafunk), that seems like normal inflation.

Arena shows I honestly don’t remember what we paid for tickets to see big bands, but I sure remember general admission, running to get to the front, not being able to move once there, and the random groping that always happened. I don’t go much to big shows now (or even back then) and have never been to a stadium show.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable for artists to make money on performance, rather than on sales of recorded music. Not sure what the value of a show like that is, but probably more than it was back when tours were done to promote album sales.

Ok I read this and did like it quite a bit but don’t think this author has ever met a living woman. The action was great and the characters mostly also, the men and vampires, but oh, painful to read the female characters. Always mothering, or falling apart, or providing a drink, administrative assistant.

Overall though - enjoyed it and thank you!

It did this for me until I hit 30, then it just made me up up up and not hungry, now past 50 it feels smooth and I can eat but can’t have it in the evening because it will keep me from getting sleepy!

Caffeine & Daily Exercise & a job that is flexible about how we do things. I have only worked at startups and places that change systems a lot, that seems to suit my nature better somehow.

But my favorite T-shirt says

Whiskey and Yoga

I got:

Women are my favorite guy

Women are born with pain built in

For men:

Men are the answer

Men are either good at bowling

I think any story that has so much inner dialogue, thinking, tripping, and goes on for 6 volumes is impossible to communicate in the medium of film, but I loved these movies just because they were visually stunning, and the story kept my interest. I don’t think you will feel like your time was wasted, just accept the film is its own thing, and be entertained.