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Joined 7 months ago
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Cake day: March 3rd, 2024

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  • Everything my wife touches.

    I leave things that I need to use in a place where I will see them. Toothpaste, on the counter. Purse, on the counter. Shoes, right in the middle of the floor. Keys, earplugs, wallet, on the counter.

    My wife puts everything “away.” Purse gets hung behind the mudroom door. Wallet, earplugs into a drawer. Keys on a hook. Shoes in the mudroom. Toothpaste in a drawer.

    Now I can’t see those things, and they’re not where I left them. They might as well not exist, until a random time where I absolutely must have them, and my “processing train” is immediately derailed, causing a high level of stress and a huge obstacle to going about my day. Sometimes I’ll just completely bail on whatever it was I had an inkling to do, because the effort to “do the search for the thing” is too much.


  • I’m 54. My upbringing was less than stellar; not actively harmful, but I was kind of “on my own” for most of it, even as a kid. Whether this was related to any neurodivergency, or contributed to it, I will never know.

    My father passed a number of years ago. My mother moved across the country decades ago. A few years back, I decided that I didn’t need to talk to her anymore, so I stopped. I didn’t feel a need to explain this.

    So after some of the regular intermittent weird secret squirrel passive aggressive voicemails that I didn’t answer, I hear from my wife that my mother is confused about why I am not responsive. “Okay.”

    Then one day, a card shows up in the mail. Generic greeting card, inscribed with “Just because I love you” and a check for a thousand dollars. It took me days to figure out what the hell I was going to do with this situation, and my final decision was to do nothing. Not cashing the check, not sending it back, not acknowledging its receipt - just nothing. I don’t play.

    I’m not saying that this decision is one everyone should make, but it’s certainly a decision that is available to anyone.






  • LetsEncrypt is legit. A downside is that the certs expire after 90 days. However, that also carries an upside in that it limits the damage in case a certificate is compromised. There are procedures by which you can automatically renew/request (I forget whether they allow renewing an existing cert or require a brand new one) LE certs and apply them to your application, but that can be fiddly to configure.

    If you’re not comfortable with configuring automatic certificate cycling, a long-term paid cert would be more appropriate.