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Cake day: August 1st, 2023

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  • Hux@lemmy.mlto196@lemmy.blahaj.zoneWishes rule
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    13 days ago

    “That long,” she snapped. Now, it was the Devil’s plan that morning to make a nuisance of himself by granting wishes, and he decided there was no time like now to begin. “See here then,” he said to the farm wife. “I will grant you one wish anything at all and that ought to cheer you up.” “One wish?” said the farm wife. “One,” he replied. “Very well,” said the farm wife. “Here’s my wish. Since I don’t believe in fairy godmothers, I wish you’d go back where you came from and leave me alone.” This wish caught the Devil off guard and before he knew it he had landed with a bump in his throne room in Hell. Up he rose, his hair on end with anger. “That’s one I’ll get someday, anyway,” he said to himself, and back he went to the World to find another victim. The next soul he met was a very old man who sat under a tree staring away at nothing. “Good morning, old man,” said the Devil in his best fairy-godmother voice. “It’s a fine day, isn’t it?” “One of many,” said the old man. “One of many.” The Devil didn’t like this answer at all. It sounded too contented. “See here then,” he said to the old man. “I will grant you one wish-anything at all but I can guess what you’ll choose to wish for.” “What’s that?” said the old man. “Why,” said the Devil, “seeing as your life is nearly done, my guess is you’ll wish to be a boy again.” The old man pulled at his whiskers for a while and then he said, “No, not that. It was good to be a boy, but not all good.” “Then,” pursued the Devil, “you’ll wish to return to young manhood.” “No,” said the old man. “It was good to be a young man, but still—it was difficult, too. No, that wouldn’t be my wish.” The Devil began to feel annoyed. “Well then,” he said, “surely you’ll wish to be once more in your prime, a hearty soul of forty or fifty.” “No,” said the old man, “I wouldn’t wish that. It was good to be forty and good to be fifty, but those times were often hard as well.” “What age will you wish to be, then?” barked the Devil, losing his patience at last. “Why should I want to be any age but this one?” said the old man. “That was your idea. One time is as good as another, and just as bad, too, for that matter. I’d wish for something different—I don’t know what —if I really had a wish.” “Well,” said the Devil, “I’ve changed my mind anyway. You don’t have a wish.” “I didn’t think I did,” said the old man, and he went back to staring away at nothing. The Devil ground his teeth and smoke came out of his ears, but he went on down the road until at last he came to a vain young man in fancy clothes riding on a big brown horse. “Good morning, young man,” said the Devil in his best fairy-godmother voice. “It’s a fine day, isn’t it?” “Indeed it is, dear madam,” said the vain young man, taking off his hat and bowing as well as he could from the saddle. “Well now,” said the Devil, “you’re such a fine young man, I think I’ll grant you a wish. One wish, anything you like. What do you say to that?” “A wish?” cried the vain young man, dropping his hat. “Anything I want? Can it really be true?” “It can,” said the Devil, smiling. “What will you wish for?” “Dear me!” said the vain young man. “Anything at all? I could wish to be rich, couldn’t I!” “You could,” said the Devil. “But on the other hand I could wish that all the girls would fall in love with me,” said the vain young man, beginning to grow excited. “Or I could wish to be the Crown Prince. Or the King! I could even wish to rule the whole World, as far as that goes.” “You could,” said the Devil, smiling more than ever. “Or I could wish to stay young and handsome forever,” said the vain young man. “You could,” said the Devil. “But wait!” cried the vain young man. “Perhaps it would be better to wish for perfect health. What good are all those other things if you’re too sick to enjoy them?” “True,” said the Devil. “Oh, dear,” moaned the vain young man, wringing his hands. “What to wish for! What to choose! I shall go quite mad, trying to decide! Health, power, money, love, endless youth, each a perfect wish all by itself. Sweet fairy godmother, I wish you’d tell me what to wish for!” “If that’s what you want, all right,” said the Devil with a smile as big as the moon. “Most people think the best wish of all is to wish that every wish they ever wish will always come true.” The young man’s eyes grew round and his cheeks paled. “Yes. Yes!” he said. “They’re right, of course. That is the best. All right, so here I go. I wish that every wish I ever wish will always come true.” “Too late,” said the Devil gleefully. The young man stared. “Too late?” he cried. “But why? You said I could wish for anything, didn’t you?” “I did,” grinned the Devil. “That’s true. But you used up your wish when you wished I’d tell you what to wish for!” And with the young man’s wail of chagrin ringing in his ears, the Devil went back down to Hell, well satisfied at last.






  • There’s a train station parking lot where I live which has solar canopies over the car spots.

    In the winter, snow and ice accumulates and does fall off. A few years ago a saw a big section of ice/slush slough off and almost hit a kid waiting for their parent to pick them up.

    I’m not sure how bad it really is overall, but the photo in this post doesn’t look much like an area which gets snowfall.





  • Hux@lemmy.mltoAutism@lemmy.worldAnt smell
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    5 months ago
    • Suddenly makes a game of “tag” way more high-stakes—and FUN!

    • Don’t have to feel guilty about boiling your lobsters alive.

    • Ticks and mosquitoes? Never an issue.

    I’ll admit it makes petting zoos a tragic affair, but what the hell good is “smelling” ants?





  • Since the Jedi had fucked up “codes” to live by, I never would have expected them to rescue the mom.

    Queen Amidala, however…

    How fucked up is it that she was taken in by Anakin’s mother, who (as a god damn slave) fed her, gave her a place to stay, allowed her son to risk his life in a pod race, and ultimately gave her only son up willingly to go with her and the two Jedi, not really knowing what would happen but just trusting he’d be safe—but then, that same kid who gets attacked on the way to the ship just leaving Tattooine, ends up flying a fighter craft and destroying the droid control ship which saves Amidala’s entire planet and people. The fact the kid survived any of that is a miracle, but he clearly misses his mother. A fact Amidala was blatantly aware of.

    The fact that Amidala, who had nearly infinite resources at her disposal, owed her life and every life she was responsible for in Naboo to Anakin, and was clearly aware of pretty much the only thing Anakin wanted in the entire universe—his god damn mother—and yet Amidala didn’t do jack fucking shit to drop a few coins on Watto and free Shmi.

    I never would have expected the Jedi to free her, but Amidala? What a fucking piece of work…