As a short dude (5’ 0"), you give short dudes a bad name.

You assume you know everything about everyone, you treat people like walking stereotypes instead of treating them like actual individuals, and you refuse to even consider that people are avoiding you for your personality instead of your height. All the while, you are blaming women for a problem that, even if it did exist as much as you insist, would largely be perpetuated by the men who run the clubs, not the women who can get in for free and usually just want to be left alone so they can dance with their friends.

Are there a lot of areas where we face actual discrimination because we fall outside standard height considerations? Sure, I can think of several. None of them have to do with whether I get into a club. And you don’t make your case by using discriminatory language and being a misogynistic ass.

I can guarantee you that your attitude is hindering your social life far more than your height. There are plenty of women who love short men, but so many of them end up needing to constantly worry about their man’s ego that they don’t think it is worth it.

In other words: men like you, no matter the height, are the reason women choose the bear. Grow up, solve your own insecurities, and stop assuming that you know what is going through people’s minds every minute of the day.

Oh sorry, I misunderstood! You are right about that. I actually get that a lot as a bi person myself.

I know Jack is bi/pan, but him kissing another man would be described by most as being a gay kiss.

The headline did specify that they were talking about the first gay kiss for the character of ‘The Doctor’, not the show as a whole, so Captain Jack kissing other men in general doesn’t make the headline wrong. The Ninth Doctor, who was a man, specifically kissing Jack on the lips is a gay kiss for their character though, and that makes the headline wrong.

The Ninth Doctor kissed Captain Jack on the lips in his season, so wouldn’t this be the second?

Lol now I know you’re trolling. Have a good life.

Dude, vegans can and do eat fruits. For people who can’t afford seasonal fresh fruit, we have fortified foods like bread, pasta, rice, and cereals, most of which are also vegan. I specified rice and beans (and everything else you conveniently ignored, lol) because they make a complete protein, which is usually the only thing you need to monitor closely if you are vegan on a budget. Anything else and you are best off getting a multivitamin for best bang for your buck.

Also, you saying none of us have been hungry and then lecturing us about not getting both fruits AND vegetables when fresh fruit is one of the most expensive things in a grocery store, outside of meat that is? You clearly have never been poor enough that you have been needing to have your ‘fruit’ be the cheapest jar of grape jelly you can find, or the cans of frozen ‘orange drink concentrate’.

Fruits are also available but usually tend to be more expensive and are usually considered a treat for people on limited budgets. Me not listing them was part of keeping to the usual budget shopping lists recommend for people with limited income. Unless you are further being a pedant and insisting that tomatoes are fruits and not vegetables.

And while I am fortunate enough to live in the continental US, I mostly buy what is in season and local and therefore on sale for relatively cheap. And anywhere where that isn’t available, frozen veggies are available, often for even cheaper and with no difference in nutritional value or content. If you don’t have a fridge/freezer, dried veggies are also available in most markets (dried peppers especially) and canned goods are far better for you now than they ever have been, with only marginal decreases in nutritional value.

Where do you live that absolutely no vegetables are available in any form for a dollar a can or five dollars for a family pack that would make a couple dozen meals for a family of four?

(Edit: Or, if not in the US, where you can’t even buy local produce, unless you are in an area where there is famine. In which case you may object to the fact that almost half our farmable land is used to grow crops to feed to animals instead of being used to grow more food for humans.)

And yet rice, beans/lentils, pasta, vegetables, and spices are all vegan, and are all the staples for low-cost meals in grocery stores the world over. Where do you live where that isn’t the case?

If I am reading correctly, they are just pointing out that people regret all kinds of decisions that have lasting impact on life. To try to say that trans people in particular need to be “protected” from transition because of possible regret is acting as though that regret is uniquely bad, which isn’t the case. Hence why it would be gaslighting.

Obviously this is a joke, but there used to be an important reason we kept the flags wrinkled like that: it meant that you never knew who had bought a flag at a Pride event and who brought one they owned.

This meant that people who were ‘caught’ at an event by friends or family they weren’t out to, they could say they just bought the flag to support the cause. It also meant there was no way to tell who had been there longer than others.

I tried to read this, as someone with PTSD, and I couldn’t get through the article. It has far too many grammar mistakes, the pacing is clunky at best, and the language used is incredibly vague. The article also doesn’t list an actual author, just the company that published it. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was AI written.

Regardless, while I have found some help in cannabis for things like sleep and muscle relaxation, I would be hesitant to recommend it to people with PTSD. Cannabis is proven to cause or worsen anxiety and panic in a decent portion of the population, with the worst affected being people who already struggle with anxiety.

That may change as we are able to study it more, but right now I don’t think it is responsible to suggest that weed can help PTSD when there is a big risk of someone self medicating and ending up worse than when they started.

I am good at finding things because I think about things in context of their place in the world.

At my job, I am good at finding problems in data because I know how all the files work and how our systems interlink. If something is missing, I know where it gets taken from and work backwards from there. If some additional is there that shouldn’t be, I know the rules of why things get taken and can figure out why.

At home, I can find objects easily because I know what they are used for and have a good memory, so I can easily remember the last thing an item was used for and start there. This helps a lot with a partner who has ADHD and is constantly misplacing things.

My finding skills have also been great for finding stuff on the Internet, but Search Engine Optimization is slowly degrading that. I am still very good at finding deals on things people need on Craigslist though, as I am very good at figuring out which listings are good and which are ads just based on the description given.

A big thing that helped me is knowing that, even if nobody knows what it is like to be me, specifically, everything I have ever felt and experienced has been felt and experienced by at least one other person, somewhere. Feelings are far more universal that we realize as we are feeling them, and no matter how alone you feel, there are other people with that same feeling.

This isn’t meant to minimize your experience. In fact, it enhanced mine. By realizing that a lot of people feel the same feelings as me, it helped me communicate better. Even if I have a hard time identifying the name of a feeling, describing it in general terms opens a new point of communication that can bridge a lot of gaps.

For example, I have been able to go to a friend group and explain that, while jokes are okay, a particular joke made me feel unwelcome, and explained why. The fact that I felt excluded stopped being seen as a barrier, and instead it was the thing that started the conversation about the joke, why it was made, and it helped both parties learn some context for next time.

Even if it doesn’t work in your current situation, it can help in similar, future situations by helping you avoid this feelings trap in the future. It has certainly helped me a lot.

Kettle corn! I learned how to make it myself in my stovetop popcorn spinner pot. Super easy, helps mitigate migraines (salt and sugar help raise my chronic low blood pressure), and has a very unique texture that I love.

Fellow trans guy here.

I hear and see you. I have been exactly where you are so many times since I came out almost a decade ago. Heck, I still feel like that from time to time, usually when my coworkers talk about ordering from the homophobic chicken place and then make half-assed excuses when they remember I am there. More than eight years into transition and I still get misgendered by my fellow queer people because they can’t be bothered. I had to cancel my membership to a local gay charity group because they keep hosting events at a gay bar where the owner allowed a TERF group to harass a trans woman until she left the building in tears.

But I can promise that it isn’t all bad, and that there is a place for you. I am married to my wonderful gay husband, who has gone above and beyond educating his friends and family about trans issues and chews out anyone who suggests that being married to me makes him bi. I love with him and our two best friends, a lesbian couple, one of whom is a trans woman. We both have an extensive friend group that we meet with weekly for games, as well as a kink group that they help run that is the most inclusive environment I have ever been in. I have a job where I can be open about who I am, and no one has ever given me an issue.

I am so, so sorry that you are not valued or respected by the people around you right now. I am not saying all of this to tell you you don’t have to move. I am saying this as a way of encouraging you to remind yourself, every day, that you are worth it. You, exactly as you are, are deserving of understanding, of care, and of celebration. And if you are not getting that where you are now, you owe it to yourself to do whatever you need to to get to somewhere where that becomes reality.

I hope you find that space soon, and know that there are always people out there who have shared your experience. We will be here if you need to talk to someone about it, and I wish you all the best in your journey.

As someone struggling with this issue, thank goodness someone is working on this!

I had a previous landlord illegally sell a settled debt to collections under my deadname, which wasn’t even my legal name at the time I had ended the lease at the apartment. They were aware of my legal name, as they had been accepting my checks with my new name for more than a year.

Because of this one item on my credit history, I have been unable to open bank accounts, apply for credit cards, or get loans because no one can verify my identity through the bureaus. I have sent several rounds of letters from myself and my lawyers to the credit bureaus and the collection agency providing the evidence that the debt was settled and demanding that they removed the item from my report, but they have refused to do anything to correct it.

Meanwhile, I know people who have changed their names several times due to marriages and divorces, and they have never had any issues verifying their information for financial situations. I am lucky to be in a relationship with someone who isn’t using my situation as a way to exercise control over me, but I know other trans people who have been forced to stay on contact with abusers simply because their abuser has financial power over them. Whether it be loaning them money when normal loan avenues fail them, listing them as an authorized user on a credit card and then threatening to remove them so they can’t buy anything, or providing them housing through special agreements because no one will rent to them without passing a credit check, there are so many ways that stuff like this makes life more dangerous for trans and nb people.

Stuff like this is intentional, unnecessary, and incredibly harmful for those of us who are just trying to live our lives.

As someone in New York, this is wonderful news!

Also, for anyone looking to get out of a state for their own safety, consider reaching out to a real estate company in the area you are looking to move to. Specifically, find a branch in the general area and call their office. They will usually have an admin or admin assistant you can talk to directly who will be able to help you find local resources, and they may even be able to help with things other than housing.

My husband is such an assistant, and he has already helped a family move here to escape anti-trans laws. There are plenty of us who are willing and able to help in any way we can.