Statistics, original meaning of a romantic relationship?
It’s been called open marriage or open relationship for a reason. Because the default assumption was it’s not. There’s even that weird term “cheating”.
Everyone acts like monogamous relationships are normal because they are. And polyamorous relationships are an exception. You’ll have to deal with it.
They shouldn’t. Lots of people don’t even know polyamoury is an option, and they’re groomed from early childhood to understand relationships as exclusive and to get jealous. That’s a toxic culture. It’s okay to have complicated and difficult feelings, that’s part of being human, but it’s not okay to pressure children into sharing those feelings as they get older.
Because they are? The absolute majority of all relationships are monogamous. How is that even a question? lol
Do you go about this when trying to date too? Do you just not say that you want to fuck around with other people, expecting them to just accept it anyway? Because that’s called cheating. If you want to have a non monogamous relationship, then you have to make that clear right from the start, discussing all boundaries that come with it to which both / all partners can agree upon. Anything else, again, makes you a cheater.
What the everliving fuck. Of course I ask all my partners to give consent before I add someone new to my polycule. Every single time. Do you add new people to your polycule without consulting your partners just because they’re polyamorous? That’s cheating.
I don’t have to “tell” my partners I’m poly, because I don’t cheat. If you think you can just tell your partners you’re poly and then date whoever you want, you’re wrong and that’s a dangerous belief. Please never tell anyone else that polyamoury works like that, because it doesn’t. I’ve had to educate far too many partners who thought like you and would have cheated on me if I hadn’t been careful to establish explicit boundaries.
Congrats on completely avoiding the point I was making. You’re outright telling someone you’re poly, because you know the expectation is that you’re not, because it isn’t the norm.
No, I’ve actually only ever had two partners who were monoamorous by default. The first two. Everyone afterwards immediately knew I was poly without having to be told. And was poly too. I mean I would have asked them to consent to being metamours with all my existing partners anyway so definitely no cheating since you brought that weird point up. But if you’re now deciding the point is people’s assumptions, everyone I know assumes people are poly. If someone in my circles is monoam they actually have it listed in their bio so everyone knows not to flirt with them.
Sounds like I just have gayer friends than you do and you’re assuming everyone is like your boring friends.
If all your friends are human, that explains why your social norms are so boring. You should get to know people who are different than you. Otherwise you might turn into the kind of asshole who thinks every identity you don’t have experience with is fake. You don’t want to be like that, do you?
What a horrible existence you lead. Denying that people different than you exist. Seeing imagined conspiracies rather than accept new knowledge. Living, breathing, even wanting and enforcing such dreadful conformity. Such ignorance. You’ve seen the joys of a diverse world of love and freedom and you told it to fuck off. If my life were as dull as yours, I’d kill myself. But you want it that way. The only possible explanation I can think of for such aberrant behaviour is that your mind is as much smaller than mine as your world is. There are others of your species who were explorers. They climbed mountains and crossed oceans. They peered into the distant past and they landed on the moon. But you’re not of their kin. You want a small world. You don’t dream of meeting other species like the humans who love their Star Trek and their isekais. You heard of otherkin, and denied their existence. You don’t want it to be real. You’ve heard of queer people with an existence queerer than you have yet known, and you chose erasure. To you, entire lives, loves, ways of being are a joke. You refuse to see it otherwise. You aren’t gripped by the spirit of exploration, you don’t want to meet these people, to see the truth with your own eyes, not even to deny it. The idea of putting in the effort to learn anything, whether it be that this larger world is true or false, is repugnant to you. You want to already know the answer, and you want it to be the boring one. I could introduce you to dragons, to gods, to wolves, and stranger wonders still, but you don’t care. You don’t even pull out your search engine and google it. Not even that small effort of exploration. You want a tiny world. How small you must be.
Decent point, but I also think it’s good to explicitly discuss monogamy as well. Even if you don’t use that word but only say “are we in a relationship”, it’s good to define the moment when the exclusivity begins.
For example I’ve had one date with a woman, and she was busy on my second attempt. I’d love to see her again but I’m unsure whether I will. Would I be a cheater if I went on a date with another woman right now?
Why does everyone act like closed relationships are normal and have to make an exception for poly relationships? That’s so weird.
Statistics, original meaning of a romantic relationship?
It’s been called open marriage or open relationship for a reason. Because the default assumption was it’s not. There’s even that weird term “cheating”.
Everyone acts like monogamous relationships are normal because they are. And polyamorous relationships are an exception. You’ll have to deal with it.
They shouldn’t. Lots of people don’t even know polyamoury is an option, and they’re groomed from early childhood to understand relationships as exclusive and to get jealous. That’s a toxic culture. It’s okay to have complicated and difficult feelings, that’s part of being human, but it’s not okay to pressure children into sharing those feelings as they get older.
Because that’s the social and societal norm. Regardless of how progressive a lot of the issues have been/are.
Because they are? The absolute majority of all relationships are monogamous. How is that even a question? lol Do you go about this when trying to date too? Do you just not say that you want to fuck around with other people, expecting them to just accept it anyway? Because that’s called cheating. If you want to have a non monogamous relationship, then you have to make that clear right from the start, discussing all boundaries that come with it to which both / all partners can agree upon. Anything else, again, makes you a cheater.
What the everliving fuck. Of course I ask all my partners to give consent before I add someone new to my polycule. Every single time. Do you add new people to your polycule without consulting your partners just because they’re polyamorous? That’s cheating.
I don’t have to “tell” my partners I’m poly, because I don’t cheat. If you think you can just tell your partners you’re poly and then date whoever you want, you’re wrong and that’s a dangerous belief. Please never tell anyone else that polyamoury works like that, because it doesn’t. I’ve had to educate far too many partners who thought like you and would have cheated on me if I hadn’t been careful to establish explicit boundaries.
Congrats on completely avoiding the point I was making. You’re outright telling someone you’re poly, because you know the expectation is that you’re not, because it isn’t the norm.
No, I’ve actually only ever had two partners who were monoamorous by default. The first two. Everyone afterwards immediately knew I was poly without having to be told. And was poly too. I mean I would have asked them to consent to being metamours with all my existing partners anyway so definitely no cheating since you brought that weird point up. But if you’re now deciding the point is people’s assumptions, everyone I know assumes people are poly. If someone in my circles is monoam they actually have it listed in their bio so everyone knows not to flirt with them.
Sounds like I just have gayer friends than you do and you’re assuming everyone is like your boring friends.
Do you even have any otherkin friends?
I guess you’re all mind readers huh?
Why would they do that?
The fuck does that even mean?
Do you even do therapy? Jesus fuck. You’ve gotta be trolling.
If all your friends are human, that explains why your social norms are so boring. You should get to know people who are different than you. Otherwise you might turn into the kind of asshole who thinks every identity you don’t have experience with is fake. You don’t want to be like that, do you?
Here’s your badge: 🤡
What a horrible existence you lead. Denying that people different than you exist. Seeing imagined conspiracies rather than accept new knowledge. Living, breathing, even wanting and enforcing such dreadful conformity. Such ignorance. You’ve seen the joys of a diverse world of love and freedom and you told it to fuck off. If my life were as dull as yours, I’d kill myself. But you want it that way. The only possible explanation I can think of for such aberrant behaviour is that your mind is as much smaller than mine as your world is. There are others of your species who were explorers. They climbed mountains and crossed oceans. They peered into the distant past and they landed on the moon. But you’re not of their kin. You want a small world. You don’t dream of meeting other species like the humans who love their Star Trek and their isekais. You heard of otherkin, and denied their existence. You don’t want it to be real. You’ve heard of queer people with an existence queerer than you have yet known, and you chose erasure. To you, entire lives, loves, ways of being are a joke. You refuse to see it otherwise. You aren’t gripped by the spirit of exploration, you don’t want to meet these people, to see the truth with your own eyes, not even to deny it. The idea of putting in the effort to learn anything, whether it be that this larger world is true or false, is repugnant to you. You want to already know the answer, and you want it to be the boring one. I could introduce you to dragons, to gods, to wolves, and stranger wonders still, but you don’t care. You don’t even pull out your search engine and google it. Not even that small effort of exploration. You want a tiny world. How small you must be.
Decent point, but I also think it’s good to explicitly discuss monogamy as well. Even if you don’t use that word but only say “are we in a relationship”, it’s good to define the moment when the exclusivity begins.
For example I’ve had one date with a woman, and she was busy on my second attempt. I’d love to see her again but I’m unsure whether I will. Would I be a cheater if I went on a date with another woman right now?