Richard Stallman had a dream where you control your computing. And XMPP is the closest social network in line with Richard Stallman’s vision of the internet. This instant message protocol, allows for you to easily host your own server, it’s fast and efficient, and has lots of different open source clients to choose from. Additionally, by making it extensible, it allows for anyone to build upon it to get their own desired features. This article goes over some of the basics of XMPP: https://simplifiedprivacy.com/xmpp-decentralized-signal-get-your-own-social-network/
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VeilID might be something you find interesting. It’s designed to solve exactly this problem by enabling most nodes to NATsmash with help for p2p stuff, and also provides a general and very strong privacy framework including torlike routing .
It was only unveiled at defcon this year though so the team behind it (Cult Of The Dead Cow) are trying to put docs in place ;p
Its completely written in rust, easily embeddable, has good content locality and is probably the cleanest, most performant, and most easily integrated into projects architecture for stuff like this that I’ve seen, as a programmer who’s into this space and familiar with things like i2p, tor, etc. I really hope this one takes off, and the quality of it means I really think it could (at least once they throw the docs together ;p)