Whenever I hear cis gays talk about their life I get really sad. I never got a place I could feel valued or wanted as a trans guy. Not even in trans communities. I’ve had gay people yell at me about ChilfilA and JK Rowling even tho I never brought those topics up. I’ve had gay people hit on me only to be grossed out even tho they knew I was trans. I just want to cry because people yelled at me wishing people like me could go away.

I give up in general because people are terrible and I don’t feel valued in any way. All I can do is save up to move and be a recluse.

  • Firebirdie713@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    4·
    1 year ago

    Fellow trans guy here.

    I hear and see you. I have been exactly where you are so many times since I came out almost a decade ago. Heck, I still feel like that from time to time, usually when my coworkers talk about ordering from the homophobic chicken place and then make half-assed excuses when they remember I am there. More than eight years into transition and I still get misgendered by my fellow queer people because they can’t be bothered. I had to cancel my membership to a local gay charity group because they keep hosting events at a gay bar where the owner allowed a TERF group to harass a trans woman until she left the building in tears.

    But I can promise that it isn’t all bad, and that there is a place for you. I am married to my wonderful gay husband, who has gone above and beyond educating his friends and family about trans issues and chews out anyone who suggests that being married to me makes him bi. I love with him and our two best friends, a lesbian couple, one of whom is a trans woman. We both have an extensive friend group that we meet with weekly for games, as well as a kink group that they help run that is the most inclusive environment I have ever been in. I have a job where I can be open about who I am, and no one has ever given me an issue.

    I am so, so sorry that you are not valued or respected by the people around you right now. I am not saying all of this to tell you you don’t have to move. I am saying this as a way of encouraging you to remind yourself, every day, that you are worth it. You, exactly as you are, are deserving of understanding, of care, and of celebration. And if you are not getting that where you are now, you owe it to yourself to do whatever you need to to get to somewhere where that becomes reality.

    I hope you find that space soon, and know that there are always people out there who have shared your experience. We will be here if you need to talk to someone about it, and I wish you all the best in your journey.